Yesterday, I took a group coaching call during which I found myself on the hot seat. We dove deep into questions about self worth, self perception, and internal value. My coach, who is awesome by the way, kept using the phrase "trading energies" to describe the transactions that occur in our lives, our purpose, and our careers. The concept stuck with me and I wrote this on my way to work today by dictating it to my phone. I think it sums up how I'm feeling about a few things.
Maybe I'll regret being this personal, but that's a risk I'm willing to take.
Thank you so much for being there for me, guys. I can't tell you how much your support means to me. When I struggle with my creative journey, I remember all of you and it lifts me up.
The Uneven Trade
by Luke Daab, ©2017
I'm feeding but I'm not being fed
I'm bleeding but I'm just being bled
All this energy out and nothing returns
It's like lighting a match and just getting burned
I'm the roots of a plant reaching out for a drink
It's been days since the rain and I'm reaching the brink
Where is my helper? Who comes to my aid?
It's just energy out in an uneven trade.
Well fuck this
I'm not stronger than this
I can't hold out very much longer than this
I accommodate this
And I tolerate this
Tho' I'm trying to stand every inch taller then this
I'm tied up in knots and my ends have all frayed
I'm just energy out in an uneven trade
Bravo says the masses, they stand and applaud
But the shade from their backs casts a man as a fraud
So so suddenly you're left alone in the room
Abandoned for searching who next to consume
And you're grinding
And you're working
And you're laying down track
But you can't build a house with a pat on the back
When you do what you love you don't need to get paid
Just the skin off your back in an uneven trade
I'm bigger than that.
I don't have to hold on to, accommodate that
I can overcome that
Beat the masses at that
I can stand up, stand out and be counted at that
I'm a fucker, a fighter, unfurled or afraid
I'm the one that can solve all the messes I've made
I'm a lighter, much brighter, my edges don't fade
No more energy out in an uneven trade