I would hold you in my arms and breathe my words

into your soul, cauterize the wounds

polish them clean and shiny

I would hold you in my arms, kiss your hair

and whisper

I should have been there

I failed

I'm sorry

I would hold you in my arms and sing the lullabies I sang

 for you before

your heartbeat under mine

pacing out a rhythm

Always, thump

forever, thump

I sing, thumpthump

I failed and you have pain and tears

your words freeze up at the back of your throat

rising and falling and choking back

I place my forehead against yours and guess

your thoughts

hold your face in my hands and watch

your eyes too dark and too deep

you couldn't say the words

but I know

I know now

I see it in there buried deep 

anger disappointment betrayal

pain

your fingers snapping tapping scratching

at your own skin

old wounds reopened

pain fresh

mine yours

I wanted to save you from this

protect you

I failed

I hold you in my arms and listen

your heartbeat next to mine

wherewereyouwherewereyouwherewereyou

whoaminowwhoaminowwhoaminow

You are you and this will go

scars will grow

shiny

raw 

red

Then they will fade and you will see them

and not think

this happened then

this happened

then that happened

And one day you'll speak and

forgive me

iwasntthereiwasntthereiwasntthere

But I'm here now

Your heart next to mine

Always, thump

Forever, thump

I sing for you, thumpthump

I can't carry the pain for you

or the memories

but I can sing the lullabies I sang for you

before

I can breathe my words into your soul and 

cauterize the wounds

I can carry you in my words while you

heal

your heart pacing out the rhythm

imalrightimalrightimalright


from Ever: After is a Lie 

      by Auriella Ravenwood