I have perfected a thin but nourishing soup made entirely of ground-up newspapers, and I am surviving pretty well on this despite profuse bleeding from the ears. Having no proper computer, I am posting from an iPad: It's one of those early kerosene-powered behemoths that has to be cranked every five or six minutes. It makes for slow going, but it seems that I have plenty of time.
Unless those howling coyotes decide to make their move. They are hungry, and I'm pretty sure they don't want newspaper soup.