Valentine's Day Bonus Poem
Valentines Day is the only holiday I don't love unironically.

Valentines Day is a good day for

eating your own heart.

Make a snack of your vena cava

as the relentless couples march by

two by two.

As they enchange rings in an atriurum,

gnaw your own atria, left and right.

Your aorta might be tough to chew through,

but at least you'll miss the deluge of  baby showers.