Valley of the Silk Sky - "Medicine; Run" - page 4

The saga continues! I think this is the first page that has notable changes from the original version (besides the color, of course). They're not huge, and you might not notice if I don't point them out, but they're there.

Change 1: Juharfa's facial expression in the second panel. $1+ Patrons can see the work-in-progress photos in this post. To quote from said post:

“Medicine; Run” was the first VotSS story I wrote, and in a few cases I didn’t have as strong a sense of the characters as I have now. Juharfa, pictured here, has developed into a more reserved individual, so I wanted to scale back the intensity of the angryface.

So it's a fairly subtle art change, but  one that made a big difference in how it portrays Juharfa's personality.

Change 2: In the fourth panel, Beneke originally referred to Razi as their "stupid" kid instead of "obnoxious." 

In the years since this was first written, I've become more consciously aware of and have been giving a lot of thought to ableist language. Where does it appear in my writing and what purpose does it serve? In the case of VotSS, what does its usage suggest about what a culture values? Or what a particular individual values? If it doesn't serve any particular function, can it be rewritten?

In this case, I didn't think it served any useful purpose in the narrative, and another word would work equally well. So I swapped it out.


Dylan edwards released this post 3 days early for patrons.   Become a patron
Tier Benefits
Recent Posts