Vanishing
 
So. Maybe you guys noticed that I've disappeared on you, that I just stopped updating or posting new content. 

And I feel like you guys deserve to know why. 

Gosh. 

There's no easy way to say this. 

On November 1st, we received an eviction notice because we haven't been able to make the rent over the past couple of months. 

We managed to make an arrangement because we have some business in the pipeline that should be coming through this month. The arrangement said that the eviction notice would be pulled back a month, but if it is issued again, there will be no turnaround. 

And the thing with the business is that it's depending on an import license that should have been issued two weeks ago. But hey, we're dealing with the state, after all. So maybe in my desperation to think that everything would be okay, I put too much trust in the belief that they wouldn't let me down. 

In the meantime, we've exhausted all credit lines, and we have no more friends who are able to help.

Which means that if the import license isn't issued by Friday, that eviction notice will come and, because we've spent our last money on delaying it earlier this month, we will be turned out with nothing. 

Honestly, I didn't even want to write this down even from the first, because it just brings home how futile our efforts as a family have been this past year and past five years. How just after I let people know I'd be okay, everything just went completely and catastrophically wrong once again. 

How in September, I stood amazed at how far we've managed to survive after being let down so many times, only to be let down again, and this time to the point where there will be no coming back. 

The worst thing about all this is the thought of my pets. They won't understand never seeing me again after I raised them. The other worst thing is the fact that I'm letting down everyone who've helped and supported me over these past few years, because once I'm homeless, it's unlikely that I'll get a job (not that any attempt at getting a job in the past five years actually resulted in anything but us being screwed over), and even more unlikely that any business would want to trade with us. 

Basically, this weekend is staring at me like some wild animal with its maw gaping. And the ability to make it stop is completely and utterly out of our hands. 

So if you don't hear from me again, I'm sorry. I've done everything I can to keep going, but there's nothing left but to place my hope in God's mercy and praying that He can stave off this abyss. Because God knows I can't. 

But I also wanted to say thank you to each and every one of you, who have been with me on this journey, some for as long as seven years already. You have truly enriched my life and I love every single one of you.

God bless you all and keep you.