Waiting To Panic
My, oh, my. It has been quite awhile since my last blog. Not a lot of time to blog here lately. Truthfully, I've just been wrestling with a heavy bout of depression (and subsequent demotivation). But a lot has happened in the meantime. I quit smoking. Gotta protect my singing voice. I am still working on various projects. I am still working on the podcast with Brian and Pope: Black and Gold Radio. We should be doing another webcast soon. But I think what I wanna talk about right now is one of my musical influences. Tommy Walter, aka Abandoned Pools. I'm listening to Abandoned Pools right now and it is getting me in the mood to do some more studio work. Creating.

Tommy is such an underrated artist. The song "Waiting to Panic" is playing right now and I can't fully explain how important this song is to me. Years and years ago when I was in a really dark place, this song (this whole album, really) was on repeat, getting me through. Subject matter was appropriate because Tommy wrote this album after a tough breakup. I could relate. But I always felt like I was right on the verge of a panic. A final panic. A panic that would take my mind away from me for good and leave me to roam a lost mental wasteland until I slowly disintegrated and died alone and forgotten. But the music made it bearable for me. There was this knowledge that I might be going crazy, but then when the chorus hits, there was this optimism that maybe it might eventually be okay. And it was.


This song was too short. There was so much going on, so many different instrument parts, that I felt like I could get lost in it, scream out those first lines... and then, before I knew it, it was over. But that was kind of like that part of my life, when I look back at it now. And it's like these bouts of depression that overtake me. They're just phases. They don't last forever. Even when I feel like I'm going to lose myself to panic, I can listen to some good music and know that I'll get through it. So I'm gonna stop waiting to panic and get to work.

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