I have a migraine, it started last night late evening. I took some  medication but that didn't work, so I lay down on my bed in the  darkness. Yesterday it was a pressure migraine, focused all over my  forehead. This morning the pain is mostly coming from behind my right  eye. I feel sick and dizzy. I'm going to write up my blog post, and then  no more computer screen work for the day.

Reading:
I finished part one of the Wells of Ascension, I  took a day off on Friday and I read four chapters of the book. I'm  going to guess that today I will be reading quite a lot of the book  again. My boyfriend and I were in the mediateque the other day. I experienced a surreal moment as my brain realised  I was standing in a library in France reading the blurb of a book of  law and contemplating taking the book out because it would help me with  my world building. A law book not written in English. I put it back on  the shelf though, figuring I should finish the Wells of Ascension first.

Here  I am living in a country where four years ago I could make a coherent  full sentence in the language. I'm not sure exactly when the surprise  and sheer pleasure of my accomplishment will wear off. Anyone else who  has successfully integrated into a different culture than their birth  culture, does it wear off? I hope it doesn't, it is such a nice and  happy feeling.

Don't get me wrong, 8/10 people asked me and my  English when I speak French. I doubt I'll ever be able to speak French  without my Irish accent. That's fine by me, my accent is a very  important part of who I am. Living in Ireland teaches you that you can  pinpoint to the village of where someone grew up by listening to their  accident and the words they use. My boyfriend is always fascinated by  how I can pinpoint in accents to a county in Ireland. I've grown rusty  in my skills because I don't talk to many Irish people anymore.

Anyway,  I think I should rename this topic to language instead of reading. I  always end up talking about the differences between French and English  on my experiences with them.

Bullet journal:
I  started a My List of Feel Good Stuff in my logbook. I call it a logbook  because I do not do all the drawing and colouring that you will find if  you put bullet journal into Google or Pinterest. This list has  everything that makes me feel good. I bought myself a green pen so that  now anytime I do anything from that list I get to log it in green. This  way I am making sure that my days are filled with activities that make  me feel good.

The newest addition to the list is making mandalas.  I created my first mandala last Tuesday, I would like to make one per  week. I have been itchy to do some art lately and these are perfect for  me. They are much easier to make than I thought they would be.

Happiness  comes from feeling good. Feeling good comes from doing healthy and  enjoyable activities. Happiness also comes from a sense of  accomplishment and improvement. It is not easy, I believe it truly comes  from within yourself. It is not an object you can pick up and hold.  Happiness always comes to me when I take a few minutes to reflect on my  activities for that day. I always acknowledge it now. The simple act of  acknowledging it contrasts with my years of unhappiness, and helps me  appreciate the feeling that bit more.

Twitter:
I  am loving the author confessions on Twitter. Oddly, I am finding my  voice coming through the tweets. The humour which is very hard to convey  through writing is dashing out in the tweets. It is nice to recognize  and see my voice popping out so clearly. Also shows me I still have such  a long way to go together story published. My motivation is still  pretty low, but I'm not worried about it. Creativity comes in waves,  this is a low tide. The work I get done each day will add itself,  whether it is only a few words scribbled on a page or several pages.

Writing and researching:
I  wrote the outline to the poem I will be submitting in March. I want to  write the first draft this week, and possibly the second as well. Then I  will give it to my trusted readers who always give me feedback  straightaway.

I finished reading the Moth magazine and a few  stories have stuck inside my head. I love stories that cycle around my  head for days after reading them. I hoped to dissect one of the stories  this week. One of the things I have learnt from reading the short  stories is that they end quite suddenly. Each time the story hooks me in  wraps that spell around me, I turn the page and I see a poem or a new  short story. It feels like my brain has walked into a glass door. It  leaves me with, "wait so what happened?" For the moment I find it  unsatisfying. However, maybe with an in-depth read through I might be  able to figure out a satisfying ending.

I thought I had about two  more subjects to cross out before I can give chapter 1 a rewrite.  However, then I realized that I need to sort out the religion, the back  story, and the political affiliations before I can begin rewriting.  These are all huge chunks of information that need to be done. They will  take a lot of time and effort. And creativity. And in the end, I will  use one sentence or two to describe it in the book. That is the joys of  writing.

I have begun outlining religion and finding lists of  questions from the Internet to ask myself to help with the process. I  will be working on that this week, and when my brain cannot take any  more religion, I will be looking up fashion, because it is about time  that my characters had clothes to wear.

Even though I am not  feeling the most motivated, I am making sure that each week I progress  in some shape or form. These weekly updates help an awful lot because  they keep me accountable. Now I am going to go and lie down and try and  get rid of this migraine. 

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