Weekend Blog #1
April 8, 2017

I have this friend. We'll call her Cactus.
(Disclaimer: it's shocking, but her name is not actually Cactus. Just roll with it for the sake of this post).

Cactus decided to put on 100 shirts one day. 

Now, I know what you're thinking: why on earth would anyone make a conscious decision to put 100 shirts on at once? I'll admit, it doesn't make much sense. But neither does taking 7 AP classes at once, which Cactus also consciously decided to do. There was no logic behind Cactus' ideas. Her sanity--the one thing that kept her from making stupid decisions--was gone. 

So she put on 100 shirts.

My other friend--we'll call him Grapefruit--assisted her in this process. It was his shirts that were being used; Cactus and I had joined him at his humble abode after school that day, mainly for the purpose of eating all of the food he had. His shirts were miraculously large enough to stretch over top of the others. However, one boy can only own so many shirts, and so the number of layers was slightly limited.

29 shirts. An incredible feat for one girl.

She looked a bit like a walking burrito crossed with a penguin. She had to waddle around with her arms out at her sides since there were so many layers propping up her armpits. How she could breathe, I don't know. She looked miserable, but I couldn't be sure if that was a side-effect of the shirts, or the crippling depression caused by her excessive academics. I decided it was both.

Taking off the shirts was even more difficult than putting them on. Cactus could barely move her arms, so poor Grapefruit was left with the task of peeling off every layer. At one point, Cactus' own shirt almost came off, which honestly would have been the most normal that happened that day.

I wish I could say Cactus came out of that situation with a new outlook on life. But unfortunately, several weeks later, she spent over $20 on fast food before an AP Physics test. Granted, so did I, but this isn't about me. This is a metaphor for life.

Don't pile more on yourself than you can handle. While it may sometimes seem like you are invincible, you are still human. Breathing and self-care are necessary to a healthy life. Stacking too much work in your schedule, though it may seem like productivity, is actually detrimental. Don't do it.

Also, don't put on 100 shirts at once. It's only a waste of time. 

Tier Benefits
George Washington
$1 or more per month 0 patrons
Thank you! You get access to:

-Frequent rants

-Weekend blog posts

John Adams
$2 or more per month 0 patrons
Thank you x2! You get:

     -Frequent rants

     -Weekend blog posts

-Access to early drafts of possible projects

-Sneak peeks/first looks at upcoming stories

James Monroe
$5 or more per month 0 patrons
Thank you so much! Your much appreciated $5 gets you:

     -Frequent rants

     -Weekend blog posts

     -Access to early drafts 

     -Sneak peeks/first looks

-Access to full chapters of one project as it is updated (Currently "Disclosure")

Andrew Jackson
$7 or more per month 0 patrons
Thank you, thank you, thank you! With your donation, you get:

     -Frequent rants

     -Weekend blog posts

     -Access to early drafts

     -Sneak peeks/first looks

-Access to full chapters of all stories as they are updated

-(For all my friends from Wattpad) Participation in a weekly poll to decide what Wattpad story gets updated

John Tyler
$10 or more per month 0 patrons
You are awesome! Thank you so much! You get:

-All rewards granted in Washington through Jackson

-Participation in monthly Q&As

-Opportunity to choose character names for upcoming projects

-Any bonus material/deleted scenes from every project

William McKinley
$25 or more per month 0 patrons
You. Are. Amazing. Thank you. You get:

-Everything from Washington to Tyler

-A mailed letter from a character of your choice

-A free, signed copy of a novel of your choice upon publishing

Blue Ivy Carter
$50 or more per month 0 patrons
Holy cow, THANK YOU!!! $50 is a lot, so I'm going to give you a lot in return:

-Everything from Washington to McKinley

-Free, signed copies of every novel as they are published

-A handwritten letter of thanks for your awesome self

A Dog (Probably)
$100 or more per month 0 of 25 patrons
The real MVP. Why you would give me this much is beyond my comprehension, but thank you a thousand times. You get:

-Everything from Washington to Blue Ivy

-Mentioned in the acknowledgements of every novel published

-Critique of writing: whether it be homework help, or even a story idea, I would be glad to read over it and give you any advice that I can

-Access to my "Presidential Cabinet" where you can send in ideas for short stories, poems, essays,  etc that you would like written

Recent Posts