Well, This is Just Great...
I just now discovered that the payouts from this account were going to some fairytale bank account. Either that, or my account was hacked and someone put in their own bank account. In either case, I've been operating on a $100/month shortfall since February and just now figured it out when I was no longer getting two payouts from Patreon. I'm not sure if this can be resolved or not. I may just be fucked.