Nov 24, 2021
Howdy folks! It's me again, back in cartoon form!
Why a cartoon? Uh...
...b--because I basically have one skill, and applying it is the only way I know how to effect the feeling of authenticity?
Well anyway, I just had a few NEWS ITEMS I'd like to share with y'all!! So let's get to those.
#1: Changes are coming to this Patreon!!
This has been a long time coming, but going forward, I've decided that this Patreon will no longer be for Goodbye to Halos specifically. Instead, I'd like to broaden the scope to include all the art that I publish as Valerie Halla.
(Which includes Goodbye to Halos!)
This is more of a symbolic shift than anything, so don't worry about things changing too much too fast. It will give me an excuse to post more and more kinds of stuff here, which is something that I've wanted to focus on for a while!
#2: What kinds of stuff, exactly?
Illustrations, comics, music... gay shit... all the stuff you'd expect!
Part of my, uh, narrative arc this year has been realizing that as an artist, I'm much more suited to creating short-form media than I am sprawling projects. The whole reason I got into webcomics is 'cause it's the kind of story you can tell one page at a time, one day at a time. Serialization is my gig, y'know?
Recently, I've been doing these (approximately) daily doodles over on Twitter, which I've been calling "sprouts." And they're kinda the highlight of my day now? It's been a reminder to myself of the principles of efficient cartooning, and it's helped to serve as a model for sustainable projects to come.
As for what those projects actually are? Well, I've got more than enough plans. But I haven't had much of a chance to think about them, because of... uh... well...
#3: Okay, seriously: What's Up With The Halos Video Update?
... Is it fair to call this a "relapse?"
What is it about me that always gets me in these situations? What am I trying to prove, exactly?
I mean, imagine --
Maybe you can't imagine this. Maybe this is deeply weird behavior.
Imagine writing a thirty-two page comic about the dangers of committing your soul and dignity to a project that's too big for you to handle. Like, a manifesto against grandeur for grandness' sake.
And then the first thing you do after writing that --
-- literally item one on your agenda is, you decide, "Well, time to hand-animate an entire music video!!!"
So... The Video Update. I've been picturing it as, like, this big send-off for the version of Goodbye to Halos that grew too big for me to handle.
So it's only fitting that this project, too, would spiral out of my control.
Um... Numbers-wise, I'd say it's maybe a third of the way done. I have about half of the actual animation finished, but of course there's the polishing pass after that...
But, I said this thing would take a month, right? And it's, what, three months at this point?
The sequence of events that I have to perpetrate to bring this project to completion is not a mystery to me. It's a known known. Step one, I sit down. Step two, I draw until it's done. Nothing I haven't been doing for years already.
The block is mental. But, mental is all any of this is.
Some would argue that I'm mental.
The way I would describe it is, like...
When you spend enough time with the fan on, you eventually stop hearing the white noise. You hang out in the kitchen long enough, you stop smelling the food. You stare at a wall for 60 seconds, and the wall fades away to nothing. Not darkness, just -- the absence of sensation.
After a while, my inner voice, too, fades to nothing.
And there I am, sitting in front of the drawing tablet -- alone within myself, counting the hours.
I can't draw the same video for three months any more than I can breathe the same air for three months.
I never learned how. I never figured it out.
This idea I had, this video? It's beautiful to me. Just thinking about its ultimate form makes me happy. I also really, really don't want to keep making it right now.
So, uh... I'm gonna take a bit of a break from this project!
I don't want to wait any longer to make the things that come next. It feels like I'm ignoring the moral of my own story.
I'll come back to this video at some point. My wonderful wifefriend convinced me that what's here is worth showing, so I'm gonna find a moment in time to show it.
For now, though, I want to get a foothold on some new things.
In the next few posts, I'll go into some top-secret details about what those new things will be. I'd love to get your feedback!
I believe that you'll like them.
As always, your generosity in continuing to support and follow along means everything. Thank you for waiting warmly.
I will see you very soon!!