That is the first question I answered on Quora where I found out I have a voice. Thanks Quora even though it is a Q&A Site haha :)
When I threw my 29th birthday party and made caeser salad . When I made the dressing, I, of course, forgot what she had said about the garlic. I went to call her andI couldn't. It was almost a year since she had died and I had automatically reached for the phone a hundred times already.
But that night on my birthday I realized she wasn't coming back. She won't be, by some fluke, answering her phone. She won't be home to give me the advice and pointers I should be able to get. I realized just how important those little things are. And how Sometimes it’s those little things that weigh so heavy on our hearts.
I always knew how important she was and I knew she was no longer with us. It was just that, this was the first time I realized it was forever. Finally the thought , forever finds its way and sinks in. Finally after all of the pain and grief begin to settle. You realize how important all of her was, from giving you life to calling everyday. How important it is for a young woman to be able to have her mother reassure her, she is doing things well. That was a hard day.
A few years later when I quit drinking and finally began to truly heal, I realized how important it is to live and to honor her while living for me too. Every now and then life has ways of reminding me of her. And it lets me feel that pain of missing out and how truly important she is .
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