In our lives and homes, there are always going to be spaces that matter more to us than others. These spaces are the ones that have the most impact on our well-being, sanity, and ability to cope with life. They are not always large - though sometimes they can be an entire room - yet their effect on our lives can be enormous far beyond their physical size. These are our key spaces.
So, let’s identify your key spaces…
Pause and breathe for a moment
Then think about your living space (home and work)
- Which rooms or areas are your safe space? Your sanctuary?
- In which rooms or areas do you get angered if someone else “messes” them up?
- Which spaces do other people feel like they’re invading at times?
- Which rooms or areas do you feel possessive about?
- When your home is chaos, which spaces do you feel drawn to tidy first?
These are all clues to your key spaces.
An example: one of my key spaces is my desk (and office, but especially my desk). When I still had a day job, having people dump stuff on my desk or, worse still, MOVE things would really get my goat! I get VERY twitchy and possessive about my desk!! And it’s a space I feel drawn to regularly clear, clean and tend, so we keep pace through life together. And when it’s a mess (even if that didn’t count as a mess two weeks ago) I get antsy and grouchy and depressed. Tending my desk helps my soul feel safe and happy, and lets my work flow.
Another example: my bedroom has been my safe space since childhood. Growing up, my sister and I chose to have small separate bedrooms, rather than share a larger room. Creating a beautiful haven for myself is something I’ve worked on since my teens (and probably earlier). These days, I share my bedroom with my husband. If you walked in, you would know instantly which side is mine! I put time and effort into keeping my side of the bed tended – and that’s in large part because my bedroom is still my safe haven. It’s where I naturally retreat to when the world gets a bit much. It’s where I journal and read and hang out a lot. Keeping that space ‘souled’ and in good order helps me stay sane and happy. And, as a happy by-product, when my side of the bedroom is working for me, the state of my husband’s side of bedroom is less likely to affect me – so it’s good for my marriage, too!!
Your key spaces may be entirely different.
I know folks for whom the state of the kitchen bench is absolutely critical. There are people who may seem a bit obsessive about their coffee table, or the arrangement of cushions on their couch. That’s because those are key spaces for them. (Which spaces have others teased you about your need to control? There’s another clue!)
Now you know where your key spaces are, you can own your reaction to them and your need for them. We all need spaces that support us – and our key spaces are (surprise!) key to that!
Now you know your key spaces, you can start to work consciously on getting them to a state where they meet your needs and enhance your life. They can’t fully support you until you’re conscious of them and your need to tend them.
Now you know them, you can begin to ‘soul’ them – and that’s what our challenge next week is all about…
“Soul Your Space” begins on Tuesday 28 January (New Zealand time). It's available to all my patrons (and will stay available - though not as live - even once the live challenge is done). There will be a special bonus for patrons at the $15+ tier.
Let’s get your key spaces working for you!!