Welcome back for day 14 of this journey. Today is a nice chilly, gloomy, and rainy day here in southern Kentucky. Which makes for a perfect day to do laundry and nap. So yesterday did not go as well as I had planned and that is ok. I was able to follow part of what I needed to work on but not all of it. I was very much myself yesterday, even though the only person that saw this was Larry. Don't think that the reason that I was more myself was because I was around Larry, because I have always tried to be what he wants me to be so that I can make him happy. I know this is not the right thing to do and have been working on it but yesterday I really worked on it. I voiced my opinions when I had them and didn't allow him to talk me into doing things I didn't want to do (the only thing was going to town yesterday when I didn't even want to get dressed). I stood my ground and at first it caused some anxiety but that left me about as fast as it came. I also worked hard on no soda, processed foods, or sugar. I succeeded at the no soda thing and reduced greatly the amount of processed foods I ate, however I ended up sitting down and getting honey and brownies at separate times. Sugar will be the hardest thing for me to give up.
Yesterday I did not sit down and think about what I am passionate about. I am still feeling very much so lost on that. The only thing that I am finding any kind of passion about right now is my music. It is what kept me sane during the time I was helping care for my grandma and almost became a crutch, the thing that I could use to get away from the situation because I did not want to deal with the reality of what was going on. If I noticed I was getting overly emotional I would go upstairs and play my flute to take out my emotions of the flute or simply to avoid emotions all together. I think that it is this whole avoiding the emotions of what I went through that is the cause of this lack of passion. I just need to sit down and really consider what I am passionate about and make those things happen.
Overall yesterday was not a bad day but I did not do what I needed to do. Now let's get to today's cards…
Today I pulled the Priestess (II) for the left side. In Voyager Tarot, Dr. Wanless has the following to say about this card: "As the Priestess, intuit the truth, which comes from within the depths of the universal collective unconscious and from your own personal genetic inheritance. Like the Priestess, probe what lies below the surface reality. Your dreams and meditations bring to the surface the hidden, the subconscious, the past, and the future. Like the calm mountain, be still and reflect. As the Priestess you can see to the depths and get to the bottom of thing. The Priestess in you conserves your understanding of life's meaning and its laws… Like the deep-seeking Dolphin, listen and sound out the truth, which is echoed back to you through your own inner temple… The wisdom of the Priestess is derived from her equilibrium and equanimity, symbolized by her number Two - which represents balance derived out of the harmony between the tension and conflict of opposites… Stay in balance and have clarity… Through her, others can see their true nature… She is objective because she is detached from the confusing hubbub of life. Be objective. The Priestess is clear of vision because of her honesty… Be honest… Be true to yourself and you will be in harmony with the cosmos… Detached from the heat and passion of life, she guards the purity of her crystal-clear vision, her greatest inner resource. Do not compromise your vision… The Priestess is free of emotional and worldly entanglements that could prejudice and cloud her purity of vision. Be self-sufficient… The Priestess' receptivity, which is the result of equilibrium and independence, enables her to know the pure truth, unadulterated by time and space… In your own way, you are a seer."
This was hard to figure out what this card was telling me about how to avoid being pulled from my destiny. I really had to think about it. But after several minutes of thinking about this I realized what this card is telling me. I need to avoid getting to emotionally attached to the drama and non-sense of others. I need to remain detached and speak the truth so that others can see the light and find their way back to their own truths. I need to keep myself balanced and not allow others to cause me to become unbalanced. I need to stay objective on matters and maintain my own clarity. There is so much drama in the world today, it is easy to become unbalanced. Becoming unbalanced is what has gotten me to this place that I am in right now. Although I may seem happy and bright, most of the time anymore I spend in a place that is much darker than I want it to be. I really am trying to work through this but some days are harder than others. I need to find my passions to create my balance again.
Today I pulled the Child of Crystals for the right side. Dr. Wanless shares the following in Voyager Tarot about this card: "The Child of Crystals - Learner - represents your curious mind. The curious mind is healthy. Expand your mind and you exercise it. Like the child, be open, inquisitive, and receptive. The world is full of wonders and new discoveries. Check them out. Look into things. Research. See with a fresh point of view. Don't stay fixed on old knowledge, for it may block new understanding. Learning is a perpetual process of new insight. Every moment and every experience is new. Learn from everything. See with the look of amazement. Keep your mind young. Acquire a new skill to keep your mind sharp and strong. Explore the powers of your mind. Examine how your beliefs and attitudes create your reality. A positive mind is an alert mind. Use all the different faculties of the mind such as imagination, intuition, reason, memory, vision. Find shortcuts and creative solutions. Investigate the possibilities. Trust your own intelligence. Give your mind a chance. With openness and information, you can find a way to attain your goals and dreams."
This card is all about expanding my mind and learning. I used to read a lot more than I currently am. Apparently I am needing to expand my mind more and read more. We have plenty of books for me to read, I just have to get back into the routine of reading again. I need to read those things that expand my mind and challenge what I already know. I love being forced to rethink what I know because I have learned something new that challenges previous knowledge. This forces to me really sit and think about why I thought the way I did and to figure out if the previous knowledge is still useful in my life. There have been many times where new knowledge has forced me to release things in my life that were no longer useful. Today is going to be one of those days. There is a book I am currently reading that I may need to read more of to see what there is in that book that is going to challenge what I have been thinking or doing recently. This card is also reminding me to start working on my Law of Attraction again. The funk I am currently in can easily be reduced and balance found again by studying the Law of Attraction.
Today is going to be a nice, easy day at home. I have a lot of inner work to do today and I am ok with that.
Question of the day - If you are a coffee drinker how do you drink your coffee?
Katz, M., & Goodwin, T. (2013). Tarot Life - The Revolutionary Method to Change Your Life (Month 1). Keswick: Forge Press.
Wanless, J. (1989). Voyager Tarot: Way of the Great Oracle. Carmel, CA: Merrill-West Publishing.