so we like to have fun here, but seriously, i'd like to quit my fucking job because it's miserable and the penne vodka from the take-out place by my office is giving me chronic gastrointestinal distress. if i hit $900/month here, i'll be able to support myself on my writing full time. that means more for you to read and, also, more fucked up stories about gross shit i did in bars because i won't have to wake up at 7am every day anymore. open your hearts and wallets piggies