Rick Gualtieri - Urban Fantasy Author

is creating hilariously terrifying novels

Select a membership level

Twat-Waffle
$1
per month

At this tier you earn both the "eagerly" sought after title of Twat-Waffle as well as my undying gratitude.  You will also appear on the thank you page of an upcoming novel - your name in lights, the envy of all of your friends ... assuming your friends don't have silly things like high standards. 

Freewill
$5
per month

You are now the legendary Freewill of the vampire race.  Your powers include ... err ... getting monthly access to snippets from my various works in progress. That means you get first crack at draft chapters as I work on them, getting a sneak peak before everyone else and also seeing how stories evolve through revisions and editing. It might not help you take over the world, but you'll be in the know before everyone else.

At least 2 chapters guaranteed per month, although I do warn you there might be SPOILERS! *gasp*

10

patrons

$35

per month

About

Hey there! My name's Rick Gualtieri and I'm glad you stopped by. 

I've been a professional author since 2011 - earning a living via the fine art of writing vampire dick jokes, among other things. It's a tough job, but someone's got to do it. 

I write in multiple genres across several series. My hope is that perhaps you've heard of some of them. A few examples of my handiwork include:


I have but one goal with my stories: to entertain you. That's it. Nothing fancy like teaching you life lessons, morality plays, or pushing some half-assed political agenda. My books exist for the sole purpose of transporting you somewhere else for a couple of hours and giving you a hell of a ride while you're there. 

This Patreon exists so that you can help me continue to do so, if you so choose. I won't lie, it can be a rough gig. I live with my wife and three children in NJ - a state where the standard of living falls under what others might call "freaking ridiculous". One might think me insane to stay, but NJ excels in a few areas - notably their services for children with special needs, which two of my kids require. It provides them with the extra help they need to thrive. Before we get all weepy, let me just say no sob stories here. I'm just laying out the facts. 

The upside is that's about as serious as I'm going to get. I mean it. I'm here to write kick-ass stories designed to make you cackle with laughter, gasp in shock, and maybe occasionally sleep with the lights on. 

If - at any point in this crazy journey - I am able to entertain you in any way, then all of this has been more than worth it.
Goals
$34.61 of $500 per month
If this Patreon reaches $500 a month, I will add a monthly short story (1000 - 5000 words long) from one of my book worlds - guaranteed to be exclusive for at least six months. This will include: side-adventures for main characters, origin stories, and stepping into the head of secondary characters. The sky's the limit. 
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