Snarkyology // Adam Wears

is creating history comedy!

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Thank you! You get the regular monthly article(s) and access to all Q&As.
Bronze Age
$3
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Thank you so much! You get the regular monthly article(s), access to all Q&As, and a shoutout at the end of every article.
Iron Age
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You rockstar, you! You get the regular monthly article(s), access to all Q&As, a shoutout at the end of every article, a personalised thank-you note, and the ability to suggest ideas/vote on future content.

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About

SNARK (noun)

: an attitude of mocking irreverence and sarcasm

ARCHAEOLOGY (noun)

: the study of past human life

SNARKYOLOGY (noun)

: a website where if you give me money, I will give you funny, well-researched, original essays about interesting bits of history.

Wait, who are you?

My name is Adam Wears, and for the last five years, I’ve been a researcher and writer for Cracked.com. I’ve written countless articles over the years about every subject imaginable, but nothing (nothing!) interests me more than history. Its great times and darkest moments, its figureheads and unsung heroes, its embarrassing missteps and risque business. I love it all. Here’s a few examples of my work if you don’t trust me, but are still reading for some reason:

5 Creepy Moments From History You Never Learned In School

The True Adventures Of Bill Hitler, Hitler's Idiot Nephew

4 True Crime Stories Starring Famous Historical Figures

I Was A Professional 9/11 Truther (And I Gave It Up) (Interview)

5 Crazy Stories From The Early Days Of Disneyland

4 Heroes of World War 2 Who Have Yet To Get Their Own Movies

Why Modern ‘Collectible’ Toys Are A Total Scam

5 Hilariously Ballsy Cons Pulled Off By Historical Figures

Why Dumb-Ass Conspiracy Theories Are An American Tradition

6 Historic Sex and Dating Rituals You'll Be Glad Died Out

Unfortunately, the internet is dying, and due to sitewide layoffs, I’m about to find myself without a full-time job. This is bad. I’ve spent five years writing fart jokes in a dimly-lit study. Marketable skills? Does my ability to have a full night’s sleep AND still be able to have a two-hour nap after lunch count? If so, hook me up.

While I may still be writing the occasional article for Cracked, the cold reality is that I need to get a job, make it big, or start selling my bathwater.

Where do I come in?

Whatever I wind up doing next, it’s definitely not going to involve writing about history. I get why, those types of jobs are pretty rare, but it still blows because not only do I love it, I’m also pretty good at it.

Hence, SNARKYOLOGY.

Every month, I’m going to produce one essay about an interesting, under-discussed facet of history -- either ancient history or modern -- with emphasis on good writing, top-notch jokes, and original reporting. No chasing trends. No rewriting articles and interviews by other websites. No rush jobs. Just those three basics.

What sort of things will I be writing about? I’m glad you asked. We’re talking topics like:

“The Smallpox Cult That Haunted Colonial Nigeria (And The Unsung Hero Who Stopped Them)”

“That Time Blink-182 Committed A War Crime”

“The Subtle Racism Of The ‘Ancient Aliens’ Conspiracy Theory”

“Your Dumb History Questions (Answered)” (RECURRING FEATURE)

**Untitled Article On History-Themed ASMR YouTuber** (example)

I’m hooked, reel me in.

Okay, so here’s the deal.

If you give me $1 a month, I’ll give you a funny, well-researched original essay about an interesting facet of history.

If you give me $3 or more a month, I’ll give you an essay AND perks including personalised thank-you notes, Q&As, regular shoutouts in articles/on social media, and the abilities to suggest ideas and to vote on what I write about next.

When donations reach a certain level, I’ll be able to spend more time writing for SNARKYOLOGY and so you’ll get more articles every month. I’ll also be able to afford to start running weekly recurring features (such as the one I mentioned above) as well as articles by guest writers.

But that’s the future, and it’s only going to be possible with your help. Give me $1 (or more!) and you’ll not only get a new best friend, you’ll also get jokes and something good to read. And honestly, how often does a deal like that come along?
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