Social Quest App
Free yourself of anxiety and fear in social situations… for good. This app will take you through a series of real-life missions that will each teach you a small lesson on how to behave, how to think, and how to feel in social situations. These lessons are educational and yet easy to complete, allowing you to rapidly advance to more advanced missions that would have seemed hard or impossible when you first started.
Soon, every day interactions will be child’s play compared to the meticulous training you’ll receive from this app. More importantly, through this process you will learn to deconstruct any social dynamic or social interaction into easy to grasp components that you can rapidly master, so your whole world will become a fun and exciting puzzle of ingenuity instead of being a crushing test of brute force as you attempt and fail, again and again, to build up the courage to power through your anxiety as you go about your day.
The journey begins now, Godspeed, and good luck.
Voice: You will attain control over your voice; you will have the ability to decide to utilize tonality, volume, resonance, and speed at will, instead of these being dictated by external circumstances.
This ability will facilitate all modules that involve using your voice.
Home Earth: In any place you go you will feel the same way you feel in your own home: comfortable and safe. You will feel like you own any room that you walk into. You will not feel the need to apologize for occupying space or the need to ask for permission to express yourself. You will dominate any territory.
Detachment: During this thread you will prove to your brain that your wellbeing isnt dependant on any one person nor on any one interaction with anyone. You will stop placing importance in the short-term. You will place control over your survival and replication on your own hands, instead of deceptively placing it on the whims of others. You will move from dependency to independence, and take responsibility over your own value, instead of it being dictated by others’ reactions to you.
Aproach: When youre done with this thread, you'll have the ability to approach strangers at will. You will be able to decide to do it instead of having strong emotions prevent you from doing it. This means you will be in control of doing as many approaches as you decide, to whomever you decide, any time you wish to do so.
This ability will facilitate all modules that involve initiating contact with other people.
Crowds: This ability will facilitate all modules that require being observed by other people.
The process is simple, you have to demonstrate to your amigdala that, no matter how much attention you call to yourself, you wont be killed. In fact, you wont be affected at all.
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About my Vision
-Social Anxiety-When you have SA you're isolated, there's an invisible barrier of fear that prevents you from reaching others, so you are alone. The barrier is in your mind but it's real, very real. You have no control over when you get to enjoy the company of other people, friendship, connection, or physical intimacy. You live in scarcity of the most fundamental. And if you ever do interact with someone, you value that interaction so much, it's such a prized event by your emotional system, for being so rare, that you feel an enormous pressure and anxiety to have it go well, to not make mistakes, and to not bother the other person, even if it's a random interaction, for you risk remaining alone for months or years until someone, again, randomly comes to you. Of course the other person feels you're trying to take something from them so they leave. It also affects other parts of your life: you are not free to remove your attention from more basic and urgent things and place it on long-term goals. You take decisions based on fear, even without realizing it. You choose opportunities that involve less human contact, instead of choosing what you like the most, or what is most convenient. You miss everything that comes with human interaction: wellbeing, mentorship, experience, love, prosperity. Instead of having an abundance of options and letting opportunity cost guide you to choose the more positive ones and abandon the ones that would waste your time, you feel compelled to accept anything, you find yourself accepting time-wasting and second-class behavior from yourself and others. I remember not being able to do what I wanted because the emotions of fear and anxiety were so strong that wouldn't allow it. And even when I could, there were so many nervous emotions running through my body that all my communication was distorted. Also, it's really hard to show who you are if one half of your brain is being used to worry about your survival and the other half is doing the rest. It's not useful to be two stupid people. I looked around and saw that this wasn't happening to other people, I tried figuring out why this was, what was the difference between them and me. Deep down what I was doing was looking for a solution. In the end the solution found me.
-Fear vs Willpower-The PFC is where we have ideas, where connections are made, it's where we think. The amigdala is in charge of activating fear, which is an impulse that we feel to behave in a certain way. The amygdala activates fear when it's pattern recognition system detects a situation that it recognizes as dangerous. These are two parts of the brain and they're separate, that's why you can understand really well that something isn't dangerous and still feel fear when being exposed to it, because the wiring in the PFC cannot affect the wiring of the amygdala. Fortunately practically all the brain has the capacity to learn. The amygdala can learn from exposure. If you are in a situation that the amygdala thinks it's dangerous and you don't act like the amygdala wants and nothing bad happens, then the amygdala learns that it's not something dangerous and it stops triggering the fear. Now, the reason why you would like to get rid of a fear is thought of in the PFC. The PFC can also control our behavior every once in a while, that is how we act in base of an idea that we had. The PFC and the amygdala can fight to control our behavior when they disagree, if the PFC wins and we act in a logical way the amygdala can observe us and learn that that situation didn't require fear. This is the only way we can train our amygdala. Now, if we have a great fear of something we can spend days trying to concentrate enough to do the right thing despite the enormous fear. But that can take a long time and can easily fail, which would leave us trying again and again throughout the years. Instead of wasting that time trying to convince ourselves, trying to rewire our whole PFC to believe very strongly that it is the right thing to do, and that all the things we think and believe are that we should do the right thing, instead of trying to pump ourselves up into doing the right thing, we can use that time to decrease the fear so that later it's easier for the PFC to win. We can expose ourselves to something in which it's possible for the PFC to win, and for the amygdala to learn a little bit. We can use gradual exposure. Now, even this can be quite uncomfortable, because you're acting indirectly. You're not getting closer to doing what you want but you are doing something uncomfortable and unpleasant that has no immediate benefit other that the possibility of doing even more unpleasant things, that's why it's useful to make it into a game that has an inherent reward. It was a long and arduous journey. I remember going out for 3 weeks before I dared ask a stranger for the time as part of an exercise I gave myself. On the first few days I felt fear just going near and opening the door to go outside. I didn't know a lot back then, most of my time was used for experimentation, trial and error. I worked on it day after day, it took me years. But it was worth it.
-Sifu Internet-The emotions that we experience reading a book are emotions that we would have in nature about something real, for example, that admiration we feel for Dumbledore or Gandalf we would feel for the wise old man of the tribe. And you go through life without knowing such things are possible and suddenly they happen to you. I remember the first time I felt a connection with someone, I realized I've never felt that before, there was a part of being human that i'd never had access to. I was experiencing a new emotion, one that I din't knew existed. I have had a ghost of a shadow of that emotion by reading novels and imagining what it would be like when two people fall in love or whatever the case may be, and have that connection, but in reality is something different. I was 18 years old when that happened to me, I wish it had happened earlier,but I’m ok with the way things played in the end because I’ve learned so much.
I was fortunate, I stumbled with the right information, the right knowledge, I had help. There are a lot of people who haven't had such luck. Isolation, depression, living in a perpetual state of high anxiety, missing part of life, part of their own humanity. They build their lives around avoiding the discomfort of pushing themselves through social situations, they identify themselves and create their identity based on this tiny part of the brain that isn't working, and that it would be so quick to re-wire. They believe living with that tension and sadness is normal, for they have no other experience for contrast. In our modern society we suffer a low but constant level of anxiety, this interferes with sexuality, connection, love and leaves all of us a bit hurt, dissatisfied and astray, with some uncertainty and insecurity for not having others to rely on. This is one of the things that robs us of quality of life the most in modern societies. It is one of the great problems of the present.
I know there are many people whose quality of life can be improved thanks to this app, and I also believe this app isn't for everyone. None of these are new ideas or my discoveries: exposure therapy, accelerated learning, gamification, amygdala, PFC, willpower... but I think I've created something of value by bringing them together.
These are some of the principles behind the project and how it works:
-Gamification-Our brain evolved to process the information of the world, it gives a meaning to it and it creates this virtual world that we see in which it's very easy to act. The brain generates this videogame in which eveything is interesting and epic and exciting and relevant. We live, we fight, we have great victories, we live adventures and surprises, we have passionate loves, we lose, we suffer, we die. It's a good movie, a perfect narrative. Our emotions used to always make us behave correctly. But the point is that the world that that brain was designed to process doesn't exist anymore, and that creates a disconnect. The information streaming in is strange and doesn't quite fit in. It draws out very little response. We are like animals in a cage, machines taken out of their environment that don't have much to do and don't know how to do what they were meant to do. Part of what we're attempting to do is to build an interface between the world and the brain, so the information from the world can reach the brain in a way that the brain can understand and process. So, for example, when you eat something healthy you can see and understand immediately, intellectually and emotionally what you are building in the long-term, the power, the intelligence and strength that you are absorbing from that food and how you will be able to use that strength to obtain what you care about, which is really what's going on in reality, but we can't see it, instead you eat healthy and nothing happens and is difficult to understand what’s going on. So, that way, you can start playing reality again. That is the idea behind gamification.
-DiSSS: Deconstruction, Selection, Sequencing, Stakes-The process that we use follows these steps:
- One, awearness: Realize you want to adopt a new way of being.
- Two, think of different situations where you would utilize that new way of being.
- Three, deconstruct each situation into pieces you can actually execute and learn.
- Four, select the pieces that would take you to your objective more directly and neglect the ones that would take a long time to learn.
- Five, design a ladder with the pieces in such a way that you can easily go from one to the next, so that each step is an easy success.
- Six, you throw your hat over the fence and start.
-Habits-Half the game is leaving your comfort zone, the other half is habit formation.
This will make you reach the point where you automatically do what you want to do instead of having to exert yourself and focus on doing it. In nature we learn by playing. Instead of a habit being doing the same every day, we are going to highlight the differences and make it a bit different every day, make it an interesting challenge that you can accomplish in the moment, every day, and in which you can understand the progress you are making. Making it a game.
-Treasure: retrieving the gold and gems-Having SA can be hard. In the old days being rejected from your tribe meant death, thats why we have the potential to develop a fear of what other might think or don't think about us, among other factors. The scientific minds, the mathematical minds, the people who don't live with a natural tendency to pay attention to emotions, think about emotions and who rather think of ideas and how they connect, are more susceptible to miss certain basic social and emotional mechanisms and remain stuck, although it can happen to anyone. Most people end up researching online and educating themselves about their challenge, so really they have plenty of knowledge, but only a minuscule percentage of them succeed in putting what they know into action and are able to change their behavior, improve their lives. I believe SA is the reason the world doesn't have descendants of Newton or Tesla. People with SA are incapable of having any type of power and are at the mercy of others. They fail in building the success that they desire. They are not liked by others and are rejected. People with social freedom have incredible power and influence, they enjoy success in what they desire to achieve and others are drawn to them. 1 in 8 people suffer from social anxiety at one point in their lives. 98% of depressed patients have a form of social anxiety.
- People with SA have 8 times less sexual partners and their relationships last on average 5 times less.
- 99% of suicides suffered from SA.
- People with SA are 3 times more likely to get sick.
- People with SA earn between 7 and 9 times less than people without SA at the same level.
- They have a 60% higher chance of being mugged.
- Malnourished people, those in poverty or the socially disadvantaged are 4 times more likely to develop SA.
This is a skill like any other, it can be learned and it can be taught, it is something very simple and very important and yet it is not a part of basic education. There’s is something that happens when your anxiety goes low enough, you start seeing people as possible friends instead of seeing them as possible threats. You see them as human beings, whole, living people. And it's not just a 'positive attitude', it is an understanding.
This is my vision: I see a future where anyone with Internet access can easily and successfully re-train themselves to have a normal, healthy and calm heart rhythm during any social interaction, be free of emotions of fear in their body and be able to experiment and enjoy the interaction in its fullness... and enjoy their life in its fullness. I think this can be achieved within a year. I want to solve this problem, I understand how important it is and I will do it no matter the amount of work or time it takes. Thanks to you, for reading this and for your support.