Emmett Montgomery is creating a Secret Grandpa Subscription Service
29

patrons

I have always been fascinated by Grandpas. They are the things that made the things that made us. They are full of knowledge from another time and have been places that no longer exist. They are the Old Gods and I would like to share their secrets with you.

I am a Seattle based professional stand-up comedian and storyteller and weirdo who was on network tv once but before that I was the weird kid who drew stuff and even before that have always had a lot of fun nightmares and have been trying to find ways to share them. I like to do things that create community and explore imagination. In addition to stand-up and storytelling, I perform as Sugar Plum Gary, a "Santanist" who shares the delight and cosmic horror of Christmas, and host and produce the beloved variety show "Weird and Awesome with Emmett Montgomery", the stand-up showcase "Joketeller’s Union" and the odd basement based friendship machine "The Magic Hat." I get to collaborate with some wonderful organization including filling in for commentary for the indie wrestling collective 3-2-1 Battle and teaching a monthly storytelling and public speaking workshop for the formerly homeless at Plymouth House. I also have an adorable elderly chihuahua who has the most beautiful eyelashes in the world, she is my favorite grandma.

At the beginning of the summer, I drew a sinister mustache grandpa and offered to send personalized versions of him to people electronically for a small amount of money, it was a good experience for everyone involved and gives me hope when it comes to the evolving ways in which art can be shared.

I think the only way we can have strange and wonderful and dumb and meaningful things in our lives is if we participate and support them. When people give money to creators they are buying them sandwiches and helping them pay for their antidepressants and letting them know that the things they do matter and good enough to have in their lives. I want to explore Patreon as a way to make this type of connection. If there is a Grandpa shaped hole in your heart, please consider helping me fill it. 

Tiers
Grandma
$2 or more per month
Two dollars is almost a cup of coffee or a bus ride, two things that I use to get around daily. I appreciate having you in my life and would like to show you exclusive photos and drawings of my twelve year old chihuahua Donna, my favorite Grandma. She has a realistic spider costume and a glow in the dark dinosaur hoodie and some really great sweaters and she is one of my favorite things to draw. This is a good option for those that are happy not knowing the secrets that Grandpas have inside of them.
Grandpa
$6 or more per month
Six dollars is almost a sandwich for myself or someone else. We are all machines of meat that turn food into fuel so that we can get out of bed everyday.  You are helping me get out of bed everyday and I would like to show you the Grandpas that I make (1-3 a month) as well as the almost daily drawings that fall out of me (I like to do series of things like objects with insect legs, ice cream with faces, etc.) and as a onetime thank you for subscribing I will send you a personalized Grandpa electronically with a secret just for you.
Electronic Grandpa
$11 or more per month
Eleven dollars is almost a bottle of medicine or a bag of treats for my wonderful donna. We are both getting older and need these things to live our best lives. You are a valued member of the team and in addition to theabove you will receive personalized secrets sent to you electronically from all the Grandpas that manifest that month (1-3) before any one else sees them and as a one time thank you gift you will be sent something that fits in an envelope (see below for details.)
Secret Grandpa
$20 or more per month
Twenty dollars is socks and underwear, it is a pack pf the laundry detergent that doesn't give my wife a rash, it is almost two tickets to an independent performance. These are things that make us feel  human and allow us to interact with our communities. You are part of my communityand in addition to everything above I will send you something Grandpa related in an envelope every month. Things that fit in envelopes include paper doll kits, hand drawn mustaches, and secrets too secret for the internet. You will also get free admission to my strange weekly basement show "The Magic Hat" if you are ever in Seattle. As a one time thank you I will send you something in the mail that does not fit in an envelope (see below for details.)
Spider Grandpa
$49 or more per month
Spider Grandpa is a Grandpa full of Spiders and Secrets. He hates the sun, but is so old he doesn’t remember what it is. He always in the next room, which could be alarming to some but is actually reassuring because if he isnt in the next room that means that he is probably in the room that we are in. You have embraced the secrets of the Grandpas and in addition to all the above benefits I will send you monthly things that dont fit in envelopes. Things that dont fit in envelopes include masks and puppet kits and other surpises. You are invited to attend any show I produce for free with the possibility of comps to shows I am booked on if available. As a one time thank you I will send you a giant wearable Grandpa face.
Goals
29 of 49 patrons
This is almost half a hundred. This is a bold amount of Grandpas put out into the world. This sort of interest would allow me start offering house shows (stand-up, storytelling or Sugarplum Gary) at reasonable rates to the kind folks involved in this project as well as explore other physical manifestations of Grandpas like t-shirts and calendars. If we reach this goal, I will make sure that I always have a pack of socks and/or other essential needs items (snacks, menstrual products, etc.) for the homeless in my bag and conskistantly restock and give them to the people who need themthat I encounter as I walk through my city, which is beautiful and full of possibility to many but also has the third highest amount of houseless folks in the united states. 
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I have always been fascinated by Grandpas. They are the things that made the things that made us. They are full of knowledge from another time and have been places that no longer exist. They are the Old Gods and I would like to share their secrets with you.

I am a Seattle based professional stand-up comedian and storyteller and weirdo who was on network tv once but before that I was the weird kid who drew stuff and even before that have always had a lot of fun nightmares and have been trying to find ways to share them. I like to do things that create community and explore imagination. In addition to stand-up and storytelling, I perform as Sugar Plum Gary, a "Santanist" who shares the delight and cosmic horror of Christmas, and host and produce the beloved variety show "Weird and Awesome with Emmett Montgomery", the stand-up showcase "Joketeller’s Union" and the odd basement based friendship machine "The Magic Hat." I get to collaborate with some wonderful organization including filling in for commentary for the indie wrestling collective 3-2-1 Battle and teaching a monthly storytelling and public speaking workshop for the formerly homeless at Plymouth House. I also have an adorable elderly chihuahua who has the most beautiful eyelashes in the world, she is my favorite grandma.

At the beginning of the summer, I drew a sinister mustache grandpa and offered to send personalized versions of him to people electronically for a small amount of money, it was a good experience for everyone involved and gives me hope when it comes to the evolving ways in which art can be shared.

I think the only way we can have strange and wonderful and dumb and meaningful things in our lives is if we participate and support them. When people give money to creators they are buying them sandwiches and helping them pay for their antidepressants and letting them know that the things they do matter and good enough to have in their lives. I want to explore Patreon as a way to make this type of connection. If there is a Grandpa shaped hole in your heart, please consider helping me fill it. 

Recent posts by Emmett Montgomery

Tiers
Grandma
$2 or more per month
Two dollars is almost a cup of coffee or a bus ride, two things that I use to get around daily. I appreciate having you in my life and would like to show you exclusive photos and drawings of my twelve year old chihuahua Donna, my favorite Grandma. She has a realistic spider costume and a glow in the dark dinosaur hoodie and some really great sweaters and she is one of my favorite things to draw. This is a good option for those that are happy not knowing the secrets that Grandpas have inside of them.
Grandpa
$6 or more per month
Six dollars is almost a sandwich for myself or someone else. We are all machines of meat that turn food into fuel so that we can get out of bed everyday.  You are helping me get out of bed everyday and I would like to show you the Grandpas that I make (1-3 a month) as well as the almost daily drawings that fall out of me (I like to do series of things like objects with insect legs, ice cream with faces, etc.) and as a onetime thank you for subscribing I will send you a personalized Grandpa electronically with a secret just for you.
Electronic Grandpa
$11 or more per month
Eleven dollars is almost a bottle of medicine or a bag of treats for my wonderful donna. We are both getting older and need these things to live our best lives. You are a valued member of the team and in addition to theabove you will receive personalized secrets sent to you electronically from all the Grandpas that manifest that month (1-3) before any one else sees them and as a one time thank you gift you will be sent something that fits in an envelope (see below for details.)
Secret Grandpa
$20 or more per month
Twenty dollars is socks and underwear, it is a pack pf the laundry detergent that doesn't give my wife a rash, it is almost two tickets to an independent performance. These are things that make us feel  human and allow us to interact with our communities. You are part of my communityand in addition to everything above I will send you something Grandpa related in an envelope every month. Things that fit in envelopes include paper doll kits, hand drawn mustaches, and secrets too secret for the internet. You will also get free admission to my strange weekly basement show "The Magic Hat" if you are ever in Seattle. As a one time thank you I will send you something in the mail that does not fit in an envelope (see below for details.)
Spider Grandpa
$49 or more per month
Spider Grandpa is a Grandpa full of Spiders and Secrets. He hates the sun, but is so old he doesn’t remember what it is. He always in the next room, which could be alarming to some but is actually reassuring because if he isnt in the next room that means that he is probably in the room that we are in. You have embraced the secrets of the Grandpas and in addition to all the above benefits I will send you monthly things that dont fit in envelopes. Things that dont fit in envelopes include masks and puppet kits and other surpises. You are invited to attend any show I produce for free with the possibility of comps to shows I am booked on if available. As a one time thank you I will send you a giant wearable Grandpa face.