Stef Schrader is creating sweet, sweet hoonage
26

patrons

Hi! I write about cars, and this is my parshtreon. It's like a Patreon, except this one is maximum parsh.

You can rest assured that any funds pledged here will be blown on stupid vehicles and even dumber activities involving them as frequently as possible, pending any emergencies where it'd accidentally have to go towards rent.

What is a parsh?

You know how that one guy will always interrupt someone mid-conversation to correct their pronunciation of the name "Porsche?" "Pooooor-schaaaaa," except pronounced in the deeply annoying Pretentious American Goober accent which sounds nothing like German at all? Yeah, I call my car a parsh for his benefit.

Maximum parsh is not just a car, it's a lifestyle centered upon track time, because racecar'd vehicles and sending it, bro. Is there any coincidence that the fastest car around the Nürburgring is really, truly maximum parsh, made faster for the sake of being more parsh than any parsh that has ever come before it? No. No, there is not.

What is the parshletter?

You probably found this because you like my work, so this is your chance to read more of it, just for you! If you want to hear some deep thoughts on maximum parsh, get all of life's burning questions answered, and/or just want to hear me complain about dumb bad house trends I hate on TV, subscribe to the parshletter! I'll throw in a quick take I haven't published elsewhere on everything from busted hoopties to actual life stuff, answer any questions that got sent in and throw in one good Puffalump photo that sums up my week.

If you are especially strong of stomach, I recommend signing up for the "Gulf Blue Bathroom Appreciation Society" bonus rounds tier where I'll talk about something bizarre I ate.

If you'd really just like to keep up with what I've been writing lately, I'll keep a running, public feed here. The $1 a month tier sends it directly to your inbox, and I'll toss in a "Free Coco" sticker for good measure from that time I got hurt really badly.

Averse to commitment, but still want to make my dumb life goal of buying Stuttgart's cheapest beater happen? I have a ko-fi for one-time gifts, too.

BIG DISCLAIMER PART, PLEASE READ

There is no "sponsor the race cars" tier as I still write about cars off parshtreon as objectively as possible (even parsh!). Thus, sponsorship has to be a separate conversation to vet any potential sponsors for conflicts of interest that would interfere with my main source of income.

By signing up for a recurring donation, you must be acting on behalf of yourself as a fan of what I do, and not on behalf of any company, series, team or other entity that desires coverage elsewhere. Any attempt to pay for coverage or sway my thoughts through the parshtreon will be swiftly refunded, and the user banned.
Tiers
Where's Stef?
$1 or more per month

Get the list of stuff I wrote this week sent directly to your email, plus a limited-run 7" x 2" "Free Coco" sticker from that one time I got flipped on my roof in a Lemons race. 

Parshletter!
$3 or more per month

- A short weekly take sent directly to your inbox, plus a quick reader Q&A (if there are questions) and the best thing of them all, the Puffalump Photo of the Week. 

- You'll have the ability to ask me dumb questions for the parshletter, too. Ask dumb questions, and get even dumber answers! It's a win-win situation for everyone, really.

- A short roundup of all the work I've done elsewhere sent straight to your inbox. 

Team Mascot Fan Club
$5 or more per month

- An 8" x 4.5" sticker of our team mascot, Fluffy Bunny, Eater of Souls, for your home and/or race car printed on quality race car-grade vinyl. 

- All the benefits of parshletter membership. 

Gulf Blue Bathroom Appreciation Society
$10 or more per month

- Monthly or so BONUS TAKES where I eat potentially ill-advised foodstuffs. Did Porsche make its own beer? What besides tacos can I make that's painfully spicy? Is there a bizarre regional foodstuff must I try? If I ever acquire Volkswagen currywurst (the holy grail of car/food cross-overs), this tier will find out first. 

- All the benefits of the Team Mascot Fan Club (Fluffy sticker and parshletter access). 

Advanced Laundry Avoidance Techniques
$25 or more per month

- You'll get the latest Porschelump team shirts as they happen. I'm aiming for at least one new t-shirt per year, likely centered around events. Please specify your t-shirt size with your address as I'll have to preorder such things. 

- All the benefits of the Gulf Blue Bathroom Appreciation Society (parshletter, bonus nuclear food takes, and Fluffy sticker).

Burnouts for Days
$50 or more per month

- I will do a burnout in your name and post it on YouTube. 

- All the benefits of the Advanced Laundry Avoidance Techniques (team shirts, parshletter, bonus nuclear food takes, and Fluffy sticker), so please specify t-shirt size and address as well.

You're Nuts, But Thanks
$100 or more per month

- Holy crap! My eternal gratitude and appreciation.

- A one-time deep-dive into the history and characteristics of the Puffalump of your choice. I have over 75 of these guys as of right now, so there's plenty of options to choose from. 

- All the benefits of the Burnouts for Days tier (dedicated burnout video, team shirts, parshletter, bonus nuclear food takes, and Fluffy sticker), so please include shirt size and address upon sign-up. 

Holy Crap, You're Beyond Nuts.
$411 or more per month

- Get recurring gifts of broken car parts as we break them. Think of all the lovely home decor! 

- All the benefits of the You're Nuts, But Thanks tier (Puffalump deep-dive, dedicated burnout video, Fluffy sticker, team shirts, parshletter and bonus nuclear food takes), so please include shirt size and address upon sign-up. 

Maximum Parsh
$917 or more per month

At this point, I'll just send you a postcard from the Nürburgring because you know that's what I'm going to do with the extra cash.

(Comes with all the benefits as listed in the "Holy Crap, You're Beyond Nuts" tier, too, so please list t-shirt size and address with order.)

Goals
70% complete
That's a track day, bro.
1 of 1
Hi! I write about cars, and this is my parshtreon. It's like a Patreon, except this one is maximum parsh.

You can rest assured that any funds pledged here will be blown on stupid vehicles and even dumber activities involving them as frequently as possible, pending any emergencies where it'd accidentally have to go towards rent.

What is a parsh?

You know how that one guy will always interrupt someone mid-conversation to correct their pronunciation of the name "Porsche?" "Pooooor-schaaaaa," except pronounced in the deeply annoying Pretentious American Goober accent which sounds nothing like German at all? Yeah, I call my car a parsh for his benefit.

Maximum parsh is not just a car, it's a lifestyle centered upon track time, because racecar'd vehicles and sending it, bro. Is there any coincidence that the fastest car around the Nürburgring is really, truly maximum parsh, made faster for the sake of being more parsh than any parsh that has ever come before it? No. No, there is not.

What is the parshletter?

You probably found this because you like my work, so this is your chance to read more of it, just for you! If you want to hear some deep thoughts on maximum parsh, get all of life's burning questions answered, and/or just want to hear me complain about dumb bad house trends I hate on TV, subscribe to the parshletter! I'll throw in a quick take I haven't published elsewhere on everything from busted hoopties to actual life stuff, answer any questions that got sent in and throw in one good Puffalump photo that sums up my week.

If you are especially strong of stomach, I recommend signing up for the "Gulf Blue Bathroom Appreciation Society" bonus rounds tier where I'll talk about something bizarre I ate.

If you'd really just like to keep up with what I've been writing lately, I'll keep a running, public feed here. The $1 a month tier sends it directly to your inbox, and I'll toss in a "Free Coco" sticker for good measure from that time I got hurt really badly.

Averse to commitment, but still want to make my dumb life goal of buying Stuttgart's cheapest beater happen? I have a ko-fi for one-time gifts, too.

BIG DISCLAIMER PART, PLEASE READ

There is no "sponsor the race cars" tier as I still write about cars off parshtreon as objectively as possible (even parsh!). Thus, sponsorship has to be a separate conversation to vet any potential sponsors for conflicts of interest that would interfere with my main source of income.

By signing up for a recurring donation, you must be acting on behalf of yourself as a fan of what I do, and not on behalf of any company, series, team or other entity that desires coverage elsewhere. Any attempt to pay for coverage or sway my thoughts through the parshtreon will be swiftly refunded, and the user banned.

Recent posts by Stef Schrader

Tiers
Where's Stef?
$1 or more per month

Get the list of stuff I wrote this week sent directly to your email, plus a limited-run 7" x 2" "Free Coco" sticker from that one time I got flipped on my roof in a Lemons race. 

Parshletter!
$3 or more per month

- A short weekly take sent directly to your inbox, plus a quick reader Q&A (if there are questions) and the best thing of them all, the Puffalump Photo of the Week. 

- You'll have the ability to ask me dumb questions for the parshletter, too. Ask dumb questions, and get even dumber answers! It's a win-win situation for everyone, really.

- A short roundup of all the work I've done elsewhere sent straight to your inbox. 

Team Mascot Fan Club
$5 or more per month

- An 8" x 4.5" sticker of our team mascot, Fluffy Bunny, Eater of Souls, for your home and/or race car printed on quality race car-grade vinyl. 

- All the benefits of parshletter membership. 

Gulf Blue Bathroom Appreciation Society
$10 or more per month

- Monthly or so BONUS TAKES where I eat potentially ill-advised foodstuffs. Did Porsche make its own beer? What besides tacos can I make that's painfully spicy? Is there a bizarre regional foodstuff must I try? If I ever acquire Volkswagen currywurst (the holy grail of car/food cross-overs), this tier will find out first. 

- All the benefits of the Team Mascot Fan Club (Fluffy sticker and parshletter access). 

Advanced Laundry Avoidance Techniques
$25 or more per month

- You'll get the latest Porschelump team shirts as they happen. I'm aiming for at least one new t-shirt per year, likely centered around events. Please specify your t-shirt size with your address as I'll have to preorder such things. 

- All the benefits of the Gulf Blue Bathroom Appreciation Society (parshletter, bonus nuclear food takes, and Fluffy sticker).

Burnouts for Days
$50 or more per month

- I will do a burnout in your name and post it on YouTube. 

- All the benefits of the Advanced Laundry Avoidance Techniques (team shirts, parshletter, bonus nuclear food takes, and Fluffy sticker), so please specify t-shirt size and address as well.

You're Nuts, But Thanks
$100 or more per month

- Holy crap! My eternal gratitude and appreciation.

- A one-time deep-dive into the history and characteristics of the Puffalump of your choice. I have over 75 of these guys as of right now, so there's plenty of options to choose from. 

- All the benefits of the Burnouts for Days tier (dedicated burnout video, team shirts, parshletter, bonus nuclear food takes, and Fluffy sticker), so please include shirt size and address upon sign-up. 

Holy Crap, You're Beyond Nuts.
$411 or more per month

- Get recurring gifts of broken car parts as we break them. Think of all the lovely home decor! 

- All the benefits of the You're Nuts, But Thanks tier (Puffalump deep-dive, dedicated burnout video, Fluffy sticker, team shirts, parshletter and bonus nuclear food takes), so please include shirt size and address upon sign-up. 

Maximum Parsh
$917 or more per month

At this point, I'll just send you a postcard from the Nürburgring because you know that's what I'm going to do with the extra cash.

(Comes with all the benefits as listed in the "Holy Crap, You're Beyond Nuts" tier, too, so please list t-shirt size and address with order.)