The Flyoverland Crank is creating a weekly column featuring the Wit & Wisdom of a Garrulous Geezer
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patron

[Please pretend this space features a brief, arty, sorta/kinda crazy (but not in a threatening way) video starring a young actor, who's more attractive than I ever actually was back in the Black & White Ages, pretending to be me and making a clever and witty pitch.]

"Writers should be read, but neither seen nor heard." -Daphne du Maurier. "I don't care what you say, I'll never use Just For Men." -me

Greetings fellow Earthlings. (Doesn't that sound cooler than hi?) Thank you for at least considering supporting my semi-humble scribbling.  

I've been cranking out weekly columns (some philistines call them blog posts) for better than two years now (129 columns the last time I checked). At first, as I honed my craft and cultivated my art (figured out what the hell I wanted to say and how to say it), I was content to wait for my inevitable fame and fortune to arrive... 


Tick -- tick -- tick...  Hmm, my inevitable fame and fortune seems to have been delayed. Maybe an eccentric, edgy but still (mostly) family friendly weekly dose of The Wit & Wisdom of a Garrulous Geezer, via Enlightened Infotainment, ain't what the world's been waiting for? 

Enlightened Infotainment
: To quote myself (humor me, it's not as if anyone else is going around quoting me), "The current, apparently highly popular, practice of talking heads yelling at each other on TV, or at everyone else via the internet, is not enlightened discussion, it's lowest common denominator infotainment. This column strives to create a hybrid, Enlightened Infotainment."

Tick -- tick -- tick... Hmm, still no sign of my inevitable fame and fortune. I hear a rumour that it has been kidnapped, possibly killed, while traveling by bus from NYC to Flyoverland at a rest-stop in Breezewood, Pennsylvania. 

This called for several minutes of intense marketing research... 

I know, I'll get myself syndicated! Let's see, 400, maybe 600 words max, contracts, an editor. Nah... 

I know! All those free sites on the web. They need writers and content, right? Right! Let's see...standard rate -- from nothing to next to nothing. Nah...  

I know! I'll run ads. That'll generate some dough while I wait to go viral. Come to think of it, I'd rather not be famous anyway, too many downsides. I wouldn't mind be able to make a modest living without having to leave the lair though... 

The ads are now gone. To quote the immortal Forest Gump, "And that's all I have to say about that.  


Now what? I know! I'll try that Patreon thing I've heard about. Marie-Louise, my gorgeous drop-dead beautiful muse adopts an amused, dubious look.

No, listen! There's 7.5 billion souls on the earth. If a relative handful think we're worth a buck or two a month, we could write full time! We could finish the book and start another one! We... well, short of that, maybe we could get the car fixed. 
 


Rewards
Membership in the Buck-a-month Brigade
$1 or more per month
Well, this is embarrassing. I honestly had no idea...see, I didn't know anything about how Patreon worked, or this reward thing, before I got here. A friend sent me.

All I can offer you, at the moment , is 100+ weekly columns, and some of my other scribbles via my website.
 
And, a new column published every Sat. night at 10:11 (PM & ET).  

And, I'm open to suggestions, questions, comments, vicious ad-hominem attacks, etc. via the Community button (scroll up) set aside for the exclusive use of my Patrons.

And, you'll find a Random Randomness posted there from time to time. A R.R. is a, um, well, you could say it's either a very short column or a very long tweet, for Patrons only. (Cranky don't tweet.)  

And, if you donate you'll get a thank you note that provides an email address for Patrons only so that you can contact me privately (be nice...).             
  

 
Membership in the Bodhisattva Brigade
$3 or more per month
"Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth" -Buddah. All of the Buck-a-Month Brigade rewards plus three times as much good karma.   
Membership in the Philanthropic Angels Association
$5 or more per month
Includes all of the Buck-A-Month Brigade rewards, 7.5 times as much good karma and I'll dance (well, in my heart) at your wedding or divorce party.
Goals
1 of 750 patrons

750 Philanthropic angels

Why 750? Well, there are 7.5 billion (more or less) souls on our planet. 

All of 'em (at least potentially) can access my column via the internet.

So, If only one out of every 10,000,000 people are willing to toss a few bucks a month in my hat... Well, depending on how many actually do, and how much they actually toss...

Best case scenario -- yet another geezer subsisting on a fixed income could give up his side hustles, write full time and finish the book. Maybe even write another one. 

Worst case scenario -- cop a meal at a restaurant that doesn't serve the food on a plastic tray.

Win/win. (GRIN/grin)  




  
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[Please pretend this space features a brief, arty, sorta/kinda crazy (but not in a threatening way) video starring a young actor, who's more attractive than I ever actually was back in the Black & White Ages, pretending to be me and making a clever and witty pitch.]

"Writers should be read, but neither seen nor heard." -Daphne du Maurier. "I don't care what you say, I'll never use Just For Men." -me

Greetings fellow Earthlings. (Doesn't that sound cooler than hi?) Thank you for at least considering supporting my semi-humble scribbling.  

I've been cranking out weekly columns (some philistines call them blog posts) for better than two years now (129 columns the last time I checked). At first, as I honed my craft and cultivated my art (figured out what the hell I wanted to say and how to say it), I was content to wait for my inevitable fame and fortune to arrive... 


Tick -- tick -- tick...  Hmm, my inevitable fame and fortune seems to have been delayed. Maybe an eccentric, edgy but still (mostly) family friendly weekly dose of The Wit & Wisdom of a Garrulous Geezer, via Enlightened Infotainment, ain't what the world's been waiting for? 

Enlightened Infotainment
: To quote myself (humor me, it's not as if anyone else is going around quoting me), "The current, apparently highly popular, practice of talking heads yelling at each other on TV, or at everyone else via the internet, is not enlightened discussion, it's lowest common denominator infotainment. This column strives to create a hybrid, Enlightened Infotainment."

Tick -- tick -- tick... Hmm, still no sign of my inevitable fame and fortune. I hear a rumour that it has been kidnapped, possibly killed, while traveling by bus from NYC to Flyoverland at a rest-stop in Breezewood, Pennsylvania. 

This called for several minutes of intense marketing research... 

I know, I'll get myself syndicated! Let's see, 400, maybe 600 words max, contracts, an editor. Nah... 

I know! All those free sites on the web. They need writers and content, right? Right! Let's see...standard rate -- from nothing to next to nothing. Nah...  

I know! I'll run ads. That'll generate some dough while I wait to go viral. Come to think of it, I'd rather not be famous anyway, too many downsides. I wouldn't mind be able to make a modest living without having to leave the lair though... 

The ads are now gone. To quote the immortal Forest Gump, "And that's all I have to say about that.  


Now what? I know! I'll try that Patreon thing I've heard about. Marie-Louise, my gorgeous drop-dead beautiful muse adopts an amused, dubious look.

No, listen! There's 7.5 billion souls on the earth. If a relative handful think we're worth a buck or two a month, we could write full time! We could finish the book and start another one! We... well, short of that, maybe we could get the car fixed. 
 


Recent posts by The Flyoverland Crank

Rewards
Membership in the Buck-a-month Brigade
$1 or more per month
Well, this is embarrassing. I honestly had no idea...see, I didn't know anything about how Patreon worked, or this reward thing, before I got here. A friend sent me.

All I can offer you, at the moment , is 100+ weekly columns, and some of my other scribbles via my website.
 
And, a new column published every Sat. night at 10:11 (PM & ET).  

And, I'm open to suggestions, questions, comments, vicious ad-hominem attacks, etc. via the Community button (scroll up) set aside for the exclusive use of my Patrons.

And, you'll find a Random Randomness posted there from time to time. A R.R. is a, um, well, you could say it's either a very short column or a very long tweet, for Patrons only. (Cranky don't tweet.)  

And, if you donate you'll get a thank you note that provides an email address for Patrons only so that you can contact me privately (be nice...).             
  

 
Membership in the Bodhisattva Brigade
$3 or more per month
"Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth" -Buddah. All of the Buck-a-Month Brigade rewards plus three times as much good karma.   
Membership in the Philanthropic Angels Association
$5 or more per month
Includes all of the Buck-A-Month Brigade rewards, 7.5 times as much good karma and I'll dance (well, in my heart) at your wedding or divorce party.