The Flyoverland Crank is creating a weekly column featuring the Wit & Wisdom of a Garrulous Geezer
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patron

[Please pretend this space features a brief, arty, sorta/kinda crazy (but not in a threatening way) video starring a young actor, who's more attractive than I ever actually was back in the Black & White Ages, pretending to be me and making a clever and witty pitch.]

"Writers should be read, but neither seen nor heard." -Daphne du Maurier. "I don't care what you say, I'll never use Just For Men." -me

Greetings fellow Earthlings. (Doesn't that sound cooler than hi?) Thank you for at least considering supporting my semi-humble scribbling.  

I've been cranking out weekly columns (some philistines call them blog posts) for better than three years now (that's 150+ columns...). At first, as I honed my craft and cultivated my art (figured out what the hell I wanted to say and how to say it), I was content to wait for my inevitable fame and fortune to arrive... 


Tick -- tick -- tick.  Hmm, my inevitable fame and fortune seems to have been delayed. Maybe an eccentric, edgy but still (mostly) family-friendly weekly dose of The Wit & Wisdom of a Garrulous Geezer, via Enlightened Infotainment, ain't what the world's been waiting for? 

Enlightened Infotainment
: To quote myself (humor me, it's not as if anyone else is going around quoting me), "The current, apparently highly popular, practice of talking heads yelling at each other on TV, or at everyone else via the internet, is not enlightened discussion, it's lowest common denominator infotainment. This column strives to create a hybrid, Enlightened Infotainment."

Tick -- tick -- tick. Hmm, still no sign of my inevitable fame and fortune. I hear a rumor that it's been kidnapped, possibly killed, while traveling by bus from NYC to Flyoverland at a rest-stop in Breezewood, Pennsylvania. 

This called for several minutes of intense marketing research... 

I know, I'll get myself syndicated! Let's see, 400, maybe 600 words max, contracts, an editor. Nah... 

I know! All those free sites on the web. They need writers and content, right? Right! Let's see...standard rate -- from nothing to next to nothing. Nah...  

I know! I'll run ads. That'll generate some dough while I wait to go viral. Come to think of it, I'd rather not be famous anyway, too many downsides. I wouldn't mind be able to make a modest living without having to leave the lair though... 

The ads are now gone. To quote the immortal Forest Gump, "And that's all I have to say about that.  

Now what? I know! I'll try that Patreon thing I've heard about. Marie-Louise, my gorgeous drop-dead beautiful muse adopts an amused, dubious look.

No, listen! There are 7.5 billion souls on the earth. If a relative handful thinks we're worth a buck or two a month, we could write full time! We could finish the book and start another one! We... well, short of that, maybe we could get the car fixed. 
 


Tiers
Membership in the Buck-a-month Brigade
$1 or more per month
Well, this is embarrassing. I honestly had no idea... I didn't know anything about how Patreon worked -- the reward thing -- before I got here. A friend sent me.


Unlike a PBS Saturday evening begathon, I've no tchotchkes to offer in exchange for your support. N re-re-recordings of top 40 hits you've been listening to for decades.


Just my writing.    


See, I am a bit of a crank, a busy one, who's also trying to write a novel.

What I do have to offer is 150+ weekly columns, and some of my other scribbles, via my website.
 
And, a new column published every Sat. night at 7:11 (PM & ET).  

And, if I should ever finish the book, all my patrons will receive a free copy, even if I can't get it published, even if it's just a PDF file. 


That's it.


I'll spare you the burden of yet more email, tweets, messages, podcasts, and YouTube videos (live or canned). There is no "virtual" community to join; there are no coffee mugs for sale.    


For a buck a month (or a one-off donation of appreciation*) you can support an aspiring writer and not be subjected to advertising. You'll be able to sleep soundly at night. You won't be racked with guilt over (hopefully) enjoying my work for free.


[*While Patreon is not configured to accept one time gifts, you can "pledge" any amount you'd like and then cancel after paying for the pledge. Once -- or once a month -- YOU CAN CANCEL AT ANY TIME.]      


Oh, and if you donate, you'll get a thank you note that provides an email address for Patrons only so that you can contact me privately (be nice).             
  

 

Goals
1 of 750 patrons

750 Philanthropic angels

Why 750? Well, there are 7.5 billion (more or less) souls on our planet. 

All of 'em (at least potentially) can access my column via the internet.

So, If only one out of every 10,000,000 people are willing to toss a few bucks a month in my hat... Well, depending on how many actually do, and how much they actually toss...

Best case scenario -- yet another geezer subsisting on a fixed income could give up his side hustles, write full time and finish the book. Maybe even write another one. 

Worst case scenario -- cop a meal at a restaurant that doesn't serve the food on a plastic tray.

Win/win. (GRIN/grin)  




  
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[Please pretend this space features a brief, arty, sorta/kinda crazy (but not in a threatening way) video starring a young actor, who's more attractive than I ever actually was back in the Black & White Ages, pretending to be me and making a clever and witty pitch.]

"Writers should be read, but neither seen nor heard." -Daphne du Maurier. "I don't care what you say, I'll never use Just For Men." -me

Greetings fellow Earthlings. (Doesn't that sound cooler than hi?) Thank you for at least considering supporting my semi-humble scribbling.  

I've been cranking out weekly columns (some philistines call them blog posts) for better than three years now (that's 150+ columns...). At first, as I honed my craft and cultivated my art (figured out what the hell I wanted to say and how to say it), I was content to wait for my inevitable fame and fortune to arrive... 


Tick -- tick -- tick.  Hmm, my inevitable fame and fortune seems to have been delayed. Maybe an eccentric, edgy but still (mostly) family-friendly weekly dose of The Wit & Wisdom of a Garrulous Geezer, via Enlightened Infotainment, ain't what the world's been waiting for? 

Enlightened Infotainment
: To quote myself (humor me, it's not as if anyone else is going around quoting me), "The current, apparently highly popular, practice of talking heads yelling at each other on TV, or at everyone else via the internet, is not enlightened discussion, it's lowest common denominator infotainment. This column strives to create a hybrid, Enlightened Infotainment."

Tick -- tick -- tick. Hmm, still no sign of my inevitable fame and fortune. I hear a rumor that it's been kidnapped, possibly killed, while traveling by bus from NYC to Flyoverland at a rest-stop in Breezewood, Pennsylvania. 

This called for several minutes of intense marketing research... 

I know, I'll get myself syndicated! Let's see, 400, maybe 600 words max, contracts, an editor. Nah... 

I know! All those free sites on the web. They need writers and content, right? Right! Let's see...standard rate -- from nothing to next to nothing. Nah...  

I know! I'll run ads. That'll generate some dough while I wait to go viral. Come to think of it, I'd rather not be famous anyway, too many downsides. I wouldn't mind be able to make a modest living without having to leave the lair though... 

The ads are now gone. To quote the immortal Forest Gump, "And that's all I have to say about that.  

Now what? I know! I'll try that Patreon thing I've heard about. Marie-Louise, my gorgeous drop-dead beautiful muse adopts an amused, dubious look.

No, listen! There are 7.5 billion souls on the earth. If a relative handful thinks we're worth a buck or two a month, we could write full time! We could finish the book and start another one! We... well, short of that, maybe we could get the car fixed. 
 


Recent posts by The Flyoverland Crank

Tiers
Membership in the Buck-a-month Brigade
$1 or more per month
Well, this is embarrassing. I honestly had no idea... I didn't know anything about how Patreon worked -- the reward thing -- before I got here. A friend sent me.


Unlike a PBS Saturday evening begathon, I've no tchotchkes to offer in exchange for your support. N re-re-recordings of top 40 hits you've been listening to for decades.


Just my writing.    


See, I am a bit of a crank, a busy one, who's also trying to write a novel.

What I do have to offer is 150+ weekly columns, and some of my other scribbles, via my website.
 
And, a new column published every Sat. night at 7:11 (PM & ET).  

And, if I should ever finish the book, all my patrons will receive a free copy, even if I can't get it published, even if it's just a PDF file. 


That's it.


I'll spare you the burden of yet more email, tweets, messages, podcasts, and YouTube videos (live or canned). There is no "virtual" community to join; there are no coffee mugs for sale.    


For a buck a month (or a one-off donation of appreciation*) you can support an aspiring writer and not be subjected to advertising. You'll be able to sleep soundly at night. You won't be racked with guilt over (hopefully) enjoying my work for free.


[*While Patreon is not configured to accept one time gifts, you can "pledge" any amount you'd like and then cancel after paying for the pledge. Once -- or once a month -- YOU CAN CANCEL AT ANY TIME.]      


Oh, and if you donate, you'll get a thank you note that provides an email address for Patrons only so that you can contact me privately (be nice).