The Older Avocado

is creating Analytic Fitness™ stuff like nobody else does.

15

patrons

$33

per creation

My Mission Statement [Updated]

Hi folks, I'm the older and uglier avocado.

I train, eat, sleep, and I used to write about it. Then it occurred to me that I there was really nothing special about what I wrote, and I quit doing it for a while. But I still entertained the idea that I could contribute to fitness information in a way nobody else does. I just had to find the right way. Eventually, I found it. Analytic Fitness™ was born.

Analytic Fitness™: the 1-minute version

This Patreon is a more-or-less peaceful crusade against science-based fitness bullshit. And sinceit was from day one a rigorous philosophical effort. And if you wonder how something can be "science-based" and bullshit at the same time you should definitely check the Science and Bullshit of Lifting series, starting here.

Analytic Fitness™ is the label I pinned on this rigorous philosophical effort (I did not trademark the stuff for real, but I may one day). In a nutshell, Analytic Fitness™ applies the methods of analytic philosophy to fitness-related topics to bring you science-based fitness information you won't find anywhere else.

The vehicle of Analytic Fitness™ is an exclusive, invitation-only blog, The Older Avocado and this Patreon is set up to support posts of 1.500 words or more that takes some digging. That would be about 8-10 minutes of reading time for you but it's worth a few hours of research for me. Anything shorter or that does not require research, I'll post on donated time.

What's in it for you?

With Patreon, you get two things: content you support and rewards for your support. You can have a taste of what you'd support on The Older² Avocado, a publicly accessible blog which publishes excerpts of Patreon-supported posts, as well as some other non-exclusive content, such as interviews, reposts, etc.

Content you support

I publish on a semi-regular basis, with an average of two Patreon-supported posts per month. Sometimes, I take time off for side projects and that's why support options (and reward tiers) are set 'per post' rather than 'per month': I would not ask you to support my other endeavors.

Exclusive posts published on The Older Avocado include:

Rewards for your support

All Patreon supporter tiers have immediate access to the invitation-only blog The Older Avocado. Then, depending on the tier, they also get:
  • Access the Analytic Fitness™ Dictionary and Ongoing Series Polls to chose the next entry of the Dictionary, and which series I should prioritize.
  • Discount codes on my Gumroad webshop from 5% to 50% for off-the-shelf ebooks, and up to 100% for personalized programs on higher tiers.
  • Various levels of Analytic Fitness™ Certification, re-certification, etc., with nice digital certificates and even printed stuff on higher tiers.

Anything else?

The Older Avocado is not meant to be a fast-growing enterprise and it will probably never be profitable, but that doesn't mean that I should not be ambitious. In particular, Patreon lets me set goals for the future and make promises based on these goals. After consultation of my supporters, I set on the following:

  • Video content on YouTube and later on some platform where I can grant exclusive access to my supporters.
  • Physical rewards such as t-shirts, mugs, and other cool stuff that will help spread the good word of Analytic Fitness™.
Of course, since those goals are conditional on <s>making good money</s> having enough supporters, I'll need your help to spread the good word. But rest assured that I'll be super-grateful if you do.

Oh, and I'll say 'thank you', too.

Tiers
Field Hand [Updated]
$1 or more per creation

Knowing that you're there picking the avocado stuff makes me all warm and fuzzy. You get:

  • My eternal gratitude for contributing to my coffee budget.
  • Access to Patreon-exclusive content on theolderavocado.com.
  • Access to the  Analytic Fitness™ Dictionary Poll so you can vote on which concept will be next. 
  • A 5% discount on every off-the-shelf e-book I'll ever publish on Gumroad, if you ask nicely (I'll PM you discount codes).
  • Your own Discord role & voice channel to chat with me. On Discord.
Includes Discord rewards
Ripe Avocado [Updated]
$2.99 or more per creation
That’s commitment! You get all the benefits of lower tiers (I’m trying not to chuckle on that one) and:
  • Access to my info dump Google Drive folder with articles that you can't read unless you have an academic institution account. Yes, it’s legal, because you're technically my co-authors.
  • A 15%  discount on every off-the-shelf e-book I'll ever publish on Gumroad, if you ask nicely (I'll PM you discount codes).  
  • Free Level 1 Analytic Fitness™ Certification. With a certificate. No kidding.  
Includes Discord rewards
Avocado Gourmet [Updated]
$4.99 or more per creation

Wow! Without you I couldn't go the extra mile! You get all the benefits of lower tiers and: 

  • Access to Ongoing Series Poll for choosing which of the series I should prioritize.
  • A 25% discount on every off-the-shelf e-book I'll ever publish on Gumroad, if you ask nicely (I'll PM you discount codes).
  • One of my e-books at 50% at the same conditions (ask nicely, get a discount code).
  • Free Level 1 Analytic Fitness™ Recertification for as long as you stay at that tier (longer if you downgrade & I forget to update your info).  
Includes Discord rewards
Baby Polverine [Updated]
$7.99 or more per creation

 You just made my day! You get all the benefits of lower tiers and: 

  • Thanks by name (or alias) in every post, unless you don’t want to.
  • A 33% discount on every off-the-shelf e-book I'll ever publish on Gumroad, if you ask nicely (I'll PM you discount codes). 
  • One of my ebooks for free, if you ask nicely (I'll PM you discount codes).
  • Lifetime Level 1 Analytic Fitness™ Recertification with a printed certificate sent to you by snail mail.
  • Possibility for Level 2  Analytic Fitness™ Certification if you have a nice Discord Chat with me and convince me that you deserve it.
  • If I ever meet you in real-life, I’ll fondle your furry balls or whatever smooth criminals you have down there. If that’s your thing.
Includes Discord rewards
Polverine [Updated]
$9.99 or more per creation only 12 left

You just made my day! You get all the benefits of lower tiers and: 

  • Thanks by name (or alias) in every post, unless you don’t want to. 
  • One post/year with a topic of your choice tagged with your name/alias, unless you don't want to. Whatever the subject may be. Even Ice Cream. Or Dean Winchester.  
  • A 50% discount on very e-book I ever publish on Gumroad, if you ask nicely (I'll PM you discount codes). 
  • One free e-book every year, if you ask nicely (I'll PM you discount codes).
  • Lifetime Level 1 Analytic Fitness™ Recertification with a printed certificate sent to you by snail mail.
  • Possibility for Level 2  Analytic Fitness™ Certification if you have a nice Discord Chat with me and convince me that you deserve it. 
  • If I ever meet you in real-life, I’ll fondle your furry balls or whatever smooth criminals you have down there. If that’s your thing.
Includes Discord rewards
Goals
$33 of $50 per creation
Video Summaries

When I reach 50$ per creation I'll begin to shoot video summaries for all the posts that will sum up the material in the post in 5-10 min.

I'll also ask you if you prefer to see me or some sort of animation, and I'll invest in better video hardware or animation software accordingly.
1 of 3

My Mission Statement [Updated]

Hi folks, I'm the older and uglier avocado.

I train, eat, sleep, and I used to write about it. Then it occurred to me that I there was really nothing special about what I wrote, and I quit doing it for a while. But I still entertained the idea that I could contribute to fitness information in a way nobody else does. I just had to find the right way. Eventually, I found it. Analytic Fitness™ was born.

Analytic Fitness™: the 1-minute version

This Patreon is a more-or-less peaceful crusade against science-based fitness bullshit. And sinceit was from day one a rigorous philosophical effort. And if you wonder how something can be "science-based" and bullshit at the same time you should definitely check the Science and Bullshit of Lifting series, starting here.

Analytic Fitness™ is the label I pinned on this rigorous philosophical effort (I did not trademark the stuff for real, but I may one day). In a nutshell, Analytic Fitness™ applies the methods of analytic philosophy to fitness-related topics to bring you science-based fitness information you won't find anywhere else.

The vehicle of Analytic Fitness™ is an exclusive, invitation-only blog, The Older Avocado and this Patreon is set up to support posts of 1.500 words or more that takes some digging. That would be about 8-10 minutes of reading time for you but it's worth a few hours of research for me. Anything shorter or that does not require research, I'll post on donated time.

What's in it for you?

With Patreon, you get two things: content you support and rewards for your support. You can have a taste of what you'd support on The Older² Avocado, a publicly accessible blog which publishes excerpts of Patreon-supported posts, as well as some other non-exclusive content, such as interviews, reposts, etc.

Content you support

I publish on a semi-regular basis, with an average of two Patreon-supported posts per month. Sometimes, I take time off for side projects and that's why support options (and reward tiers) are set 'per post' rather than 'per month': I would not ask you to support my other endeavors.

Exclusive posts published on The Older Avocado include:

Rewards for your support

All Patreon supporter tiers have immediate access to the invitation-only blog The Older Avocado. Then, depending on the tier, they also get:
  • Access the Analytic Fitness™ Dictionary and Ongoing Series Polls to chose the next entry of the Dictionary, and which series I should prioritize.
  • Discount codes on my Gumroad webshop from 5% to 50% for off-the-shelf ebooks, and up to 100% for personalized programs on higher tiers.
  • Various levels of Analytic Fitness™ Certification, re-certification, etc., with nice digital certificates and even printed stuff on higher tiers.

Anything else?

The Older Avocado is not meant to be a fast-growing enterprise and it will probably never be profitable, but that doesn't mean that I should not be ambitious. In particular, Patreon lets me set goals for the future and make promises based on these goals. After consultation of my supporters, I set on the following:

  • Video content on YouTube and later on some platform where I can grant exclusive access to my supporters.
  • Physical rewards such as t-shirts, mugs, and other cool stuff that will help spread the good word of Analytic Fitness™.
Of course, since those goals are conditional on <s>making good money</s> having enough supporters, I'll need your help to spread the good word. But rest assured that I'll be super-grateful if you do.

Oh, and I'll say 'thank you', too.

Recent posts by The Older Avocado

Tiers
Field Hand [Updated]
$1 or more per creation

Knowing that you're there picking the avocado stuff makes me all warm and fuzzy. You get:

  • My eternal gratitude for contributing to my coffee budget.
  • Access to Patreon-exclusive content on theolderavocado.com.
  • Access to the  Analytic Fitness™ Dictionary Poll so you can vote on which concept will be next. 
  • A 5% discount on every off-the-shelf e-book I'll ever publish on Gumroad, if you ask nicely (I'll PM you discount codes).
  • Your own Discord role & voice channel to chat with me. On Discord.
Includes Discord rewards
Ripe Avocado [Updated]
$2.99 or more per creation
That’s commitment! You get all the benefits of lower tiers (I’m trying not to chuckle on that one) and:
  • Access to my info dump Google Drive folder with articles that you can't read unless you have an academic institution account. Yes, it’s legal, because you're technically my co-authors.
  • A 15%  discount on every off-the-shelf e-book I'll ever publish on Gumroad, if you ask nicely (I'll PM you discount codes).  
  • Free Level 1 Analytic Fitness™ Certification. With a certificate. No kidding.  
Includes Discord rewards
Avocado Gourmet [Updated]
$4.99 or more per creation

Wow! Without you I couldn't go the extra mile! You get all the benefits of lower tiers and: 

  • Access to Ongoing Series Poll for choosing which of the series I should prioritize.
  • A 25% discount on every off-the-shelf e-book I'll ever publish on Gumroad, if you ask nicely (I'll PM you discount codes).
  • One of my e-books at 50% at the same conditions (ask nicely, get a discount code).
  • Free Level 1 Analytic Fitness™ Recertification for as long as you stay at that tier (longer if you downgrade & I forget to update your info).  
Includes Discord rewards
Baby Polverine [Updated]
$7.99 or more per creation

 You just made my day! You get all the benefits of lower tiers and: 

  • Thanks by name (or alias) in every post, unless you don’t want to.
  • A 33% discount on every off-the-shelf e-book I'll ever publish on Gumroad, if you ask nicely (I'll PM you discount codes). 
  • One of my ebooks for free, if you ask nicely (I'll PM you discount codes).
  • Lifetime Level 1 Analytic Fitness™ Recertification with a printed certificate sent to you by snail mail.
  • Possibility for Level 2  Analytic Fitness™ Certification if you have a nice Discord Chat with me and convince me that you deserve it.
  • If I ever meet you in real-life, I’ll fondle your furry balls or whatever smooth criminals you have down there. If that’s your thing.
Includes Discord rewards
Polverine [Updated]
$9.99 or more per creation only 12 left

You just made my day! You get all the benefits of lower tiers and: 

  • Thanks by name (or alias) in every post, unless you don’t want to. 
  • One post/year with a topic of your choice tagged with your name/alias, unless you don't want to. Whatever the subject may be. Even Ice Cream. Or Dean Winchester.  
  • A 50% discount on very e-book I ever publish on Gumroad, if you ask nicely (I'll PM you discount codes). 
  • One free e-book every year, if you ask nicely (I'll PM you discount codes).
  • Lifetime Level 1 Analytic Fitness™ Recertification with a printed certificate sent to you by snail mail.
  • Possibility for Level 2  Analytic Fitness™ Certification if you have a nice Discord Chat with me and convince me that you deserve it. 
  • If I ever meet you in real-life, I’ll fondle your furry balls or whatever smooth criminals you have down there. If that’s your thing.
Includes Discord rewards