The Onion

is creating The Topical, America's Only Daily News Podcast

Select a membership level


reward item
per month
Dying, sad, and pathetic: This is our worst tier. But we'll still gladly take your $5 every month, which is certainly more than you would ever give to receive an actual print newspaper. In return, you'll receive:

1. Early access to episodes: Be the first to hear all of tomorrow's top news stories!

2. Downloadable transcripts of episodes: See what the news looks like before it reverberates through vocal cords of Leslie Price and echoes throughout the nation. These transcripts also make it fun and easy to mouth along the words at home as you listen to each episode.

3. Weekly “Leslie’s Mail Sack” episodes: Each week, Leslie answers your most pressing questions about the news and the show, exclusively on Patreon.
  • Early access
  • Episode transcripts
  • Exclusive content: Weekly Leslie's Mail Sack segments

Cable News

reward item
per month
Our most biased tier. Hear whatever you want to hear from inside your safe little bubble for just $10 a month. In return, you'll receive:

1. Early access to episodes
2. Downloadable transcripts of episodes
3. Weekly “Leslie’s Mail Sack” episodes

4. Bonus episodes: One full length bonus episode of The Topical and other original OPR programming each month

5. On-Air Thank You: To show our appreciation for your support, Leslie Price will say your name or something similar live on air as a special thank you in one of our episodes.
  • Bonus episodes of NEW shows
  • On-Air Patron shout-out

Podcast Journalism

reward item
per month
Our best, most insightful, and most extravagant tier. This is the way news was meant to be heard. Get the VIP news treatment for just $25 a month. In return, you'll receive: 

1. Early access to episodes
2. Downloadable transcripts of episodes
3. Weekly “Leslie’s Mail Sack” episodes
4. Bonus episodes
5. On-Air Thank You

6. The Topical coffee mug: There is no better way to showcase the bounty of your riches than this exclusive OPR-branded vessel for beverages both hot and cold. Sip with pleasure as you watch your peers lap their coffee up off the ground like dogs. It will be shipped after making three consecutive pledges. Handle usually included. 

7. Attend An OPR News Meeting: Hear how the stories for The Topical are chosen each day by sitting in on a virtual meeting with the writers and editors.

8. Become a featured source in one of our episodes: Have you always wanted to hear your voice on the news, but you're unwilling to break the law in order to live out that dream? Well you're in luck because with this tier, you'll have a chance to have your voice featured in one of our news stories. Each month, Leslie Price will use his keen ear to choose one patron to help him describe the news to The Topical's billions of listeners. Sign up for this tier and submit a clip of your voice saying "From The Onion and Onion Public Radio, I'm [your name here] and this is The Topical" and that patron could be you!
  • The Topical coffee mug
  • Be on air
  • Attend a staff meeting
Exclusive Mug
Fulfilled by Patreon
OPR-branded vessel for beverages both hot and cold.


From The Onion and Onion Public Radio, The Topicalis the only daily podcast brave enough to ask: What if the news had sound effects? Join host Leslie Price each day as he barely scratches the surface on all the day's top stories.

This Patreon directly supports executive lunches for C-suite employees at OPR, as well as Leslie Price's Christmas shopping. His stepson Derek is already dropping hints about a PS5, and that simply won't be possible without dedicated listeners like you.

Journalism isn't dead. It's using its last dying breath to beg you to listen to The Topical.

Become a patron to

Unlock 38 exclusive posts
Listen anywhere
Connect via private message

Recent posts by The Onion

How it works

Get started in 2 minutes

Choose a membership
Sign up
Add a payment method
Get benefits