Thot Topics

is creating drama

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Double Shot of Stupid Bitch Juice

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reward item
$4
per month
A big, juicy mouthful of nothing but the endless satisfaction of supporting two young women with a dream. You're basically guaranteed to get into heaven for this one! We're not sure this is really a "benefit" but you'll also have a direct hotline to us if you ever have something (or someONE) you want us to talk shit about on the air! Technically we post episodes on Patreon "early" but that usually just means the night before... but if you're a night bird this might be the tea for you!
  • Support the Girls
  • Fan requests
  • Early access to episodes

Breasties for the Resties!

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$10
per month
This tier is for those divas who want to be sworn into the inner scrotum-- oops, we mean sanctum of the Thot Topics cinematic universe. If $4 seems slim for the wide range of talents and services we offer, then let's be sisters forever! Seal the deal with $10-- enough to guarantee we can afford a trip to the Shell across the street and be properly caffeinated before getting in The Booth. No additional benefits other than the immense satisfaction of being a patron of the arts-- plus we'll take your fan requests way more seriously. Próst!
  • Support the Girls
  • Fan requests
  • Early access to episodes

Thot Topics Merch Emporium

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$35
per month
**NOTE**
You can select this tier and unsub right away if you just want a gift from us! Payments are processed up front, so no need to wait to cancel! <3 


For the well-endowed among us (teehee!), this tier includes the right to say you helped a couple of girls realize their destiny AND an exclusive, made-to-order piece of Thot Topics merchandise.

Maybe it will be a t-shirt, maybe it will be a canvas print of our holes, maybe it will be a thoughtful and heartwarming note written in collaboration with your great-grandmother. Only one thing is for certain: the $35 budget will guarantee that we can take you on the merchandise journey of a lifetime. Skol!

NOTE: We are barely podcasters and we are DEFINITELY not businessmen so if you allow this tier to renew for multiple months PLEASE indicate if you want another gorgeous gift in the mail. We will default to one but we are happy to send you garbage on a recurring basis if instructed. Mwah!
  • Support the Girls
  • Fan requests
  • One of a Kind Thot Topics Merch

About Thot Topics

Thot Topics is the only podcast with the bravery to stare into the void and ask God's Question: "Do I look fat in these jeans?" Every week, Nick Malone and Cris Lopez slow-motion dive into music, culture, and politics, then emerge soaking wet with 100% certified accurate takes for your listening pleasure.

Contributing to the Patreon will grant you early access to episodes, a direct hotline to the ladies at anytime-- and maybe-- just maybe-- a reach-around HJ. ;)

Follow the dolls @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC.

Guest Appearances:
Twink Revolution
“EuTHOTia” (Sep 2020)
“Popular Thot Revolution Pt. 1” (Dec 2020)

I’m So Popular
“Popular Thot Revolution Pt. 3” (Dec 2020)
"HE HIT ME AND IT FELT LIKE A KISS (Glamour and Lana Del Rey)" (Mar 2021)

Group Project
“Podcasters Asking the Industry to Change” (Feb 2021)
“Hag Badge” (Mar 2021)

Makin’ It with Indigo Darden
“Naughty Naturdays” (Jan 2021)
Goals
100% complete
We actually want to prepare for any possible legal fees considering all the copyrighted material we use every episode, but for now, we'll settle for our monthly podcast hosting fee. Спасибо!
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By becoming a patron, you'll instantly unlock access to 4 exclusive posts
3
Audio releases
4
Images
By becoming a patron, you'll instantly unlock access to 4 exclusive posts
3
Audio releases
4
Images

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