With your help we will efficiently operationalize our strategies to invest in world-class technology and leverage our competitors in order to holistically administrate exceptional synergy. We'll set a brand trajectory using The League's philosophy to advance our market share vis-à-vis proven methodology with vigorous commitment to quality effectively enhancing transcendental symbiosis.

Your pledge will secure that you will become infected with laughter and resurrect your deepest desires while gaining the courage to master your fears and conquer your enemies with love. Your respectful devotion is much obliged. May you be healthy in body and mind. 

Our mission is to manipulate the minds of the talking primates known as humans through engaging and interesting digitally recorded conversations infused with hypnotic subliminal messages and misinformation distributed via the internet. 

The time is near when the inter-dimensional portal will be opened to the Draconian Realm of Shadows and bring forth the glorious destined rulers of Earth. This would never be possible without wonderfully sweet people like yourself who wholeheartedly support our cause. 

By donating to the podcast you hereby declare that you will support and defend Tin Foil Hat against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that you will bear true faith and allegiance to always question everything. This monetary pledge 
reaffirms your unswerving loyalty to the fundamental purpose of challenging the official narrative by constantly 
keeping an open mind and love filled heart. You will also be granted the powers of pyrokinesis and astral projection to annihilate your adversaries. 

May you begin each day with optimism and end each day with forgiveness. Thank you for your generosity and loyalty.