Looking for Pemberley

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About Looking for Pemberley

I am a teacher and researcher. On my blog, Looking for Pemberley, I shared personal narratives to illustrate and teach key concepts such as understanding literary devices, social theory concepts such as heteronormativity, and wrote about recovered texts. The blog is currently paused, but my long term goal is to revitalize it after I start my dissertation project if I get enough patrons to cover the costs of running the blog (spring 2020). Either way, if you become a patron, you will get a chance to see my works in progress- my method is anything but linear, so I often write short stories, paint or draw pictures, photograph, etc as I’m brainstorming what I will write. The goal of the blog is to provide accessible academic content and to ground literature in spiritual connectedness.

I am currently working on my PhD, which is a long and arduous journey but one that has been very eye opening to me. Currently, I teach composition and self reflection in my classrooms through the lands of community responsibility and action. As a teacher, I create a lot of video content for my students, especially my online students. This is not only time consuming, but my rewarding because the videos are available on YouTube and could help people outside my classrooms.

My archival research consists of recovery projects on Indigenous and Irish resistance to British Imperialism before and during the 19th century, and is inspired by books like Kate Flint’s “Transatlantic Indian” and Coll Thrush’s “Indigenous London.” I work with theories about state violence and biopolitical “economies” of the Victorian era and women, Irish, and American Indian resistance to these arbitrary practices and ideologies. My goals are twofold with this research- 1). I aim to complicate and undermine our ongoing flattened understanding of history, and outline the structure of ideology that was created during this time 2). To uplift and recover narratives that show the long history of resistance to colonialism. To show how transnational the Victorian period really was, and to illustrate how people (especially people whose bodies and right to life were threatened by Victorian England), spent time in diplomacy, in transnational solidarity building, and in critical thinking practice. How they could see the structure of English industrial capitalism and how they rejected it.
In my spiritual and social work on the ground, my goals are to resist and reject the ways in which we’ve been conditioned, partially as a result of the continuing influence Victorian ideologies, to isolate ourselves and to work against each other. I have felt spiritually and emotionally connected to other people, to animals, and to the planet as long as I can remember. In third grade, I became a vegetarian. Throughout my life, I have volunteered. At the moment, my service includes being a delegate for the IWW, a union founded by Lucia Gonzalez Parsons (more famously known as Lucy Parsons). Through this role, I have learned so much history abt anti-capitalism in the US and have been able to look forward to continued solidarity with the community connections I’ve made. I have also been able to see the devastating effects that capitalism has created in our communities - the exhaustion, the isolation, depression, and hopelessness of a large majority of people while the rich only get more and more out of touch with their neighbors’ struggle, employing Malthusian economic concepts to deride their characters. It has been heartbreaking and heart building. I recently watched Winning Coffee Co close due to gentrification and high rent in their neighborhood, and economic pressures due to the ART project, a failed project led by corrupted government officials that has led to many small business closures and traffic congestion. As I watch our world become increasingly lopsided, and as I watch our earth die, I turn increasingly to spiritual practices to help me cope. I have always felt spiritually open and connected- I loved going to church growing up and singing in the choir. I loved going to Red Shirt table with my grandfather and participating in prayer for the land. I have always loved hearing stories. However, growing up in South Dakota surrounded by fundamentalist Christian practices, I started to shut down all avenues of my connection to God and to other people except via strict infrastructure of the church. Although my church growing up was very progressive, the restrictive and judge mental ideologies that permeated my hometown were internalized. I was afraid of my own spiritual senses and connections. I stopped participating in any ceremonies or rituals that were not overtly church related. I stopped talking with spirits.
After a long and painful process spanning 9 years, I am now trying new rituals and have reconnected with community spiritual practices and praying for the land, water, and animals. I still believe in God and belief that the capitalistic monopoly over interpretation of his teachings has been a great injustice to our world. Part of my practice includes belief in tarot and horoscopes, and openness to dreams, visions, and spiritual contact. I can write more about this experience to help show my journey and teach others how to become more open and connected. I believe it to be a moral obligation to share this part of myself that I have kept hidden for so long, and allowing it to exhaust within me has helped me become a better person, a better scholar, a better teacher, a better community organizer, and the increased insight and self -reflectiveness has helped many of those around me.
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