Hagai Erman

is creating Art, live art, drowing, sculpturing, story telling, food art

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About Hagai Erman

Hagai’s Portable Art Laboratory (H.pal), is a studio, stage, gallery, art research laboratory and an experimental kitchen located in a trailer. As a survivor of GasLighting, consistently mentally abused as a child, all my life is an endless search for Love and Home. I made myself many homes but found no one, I engaged in many loves but never felt loved. This search, that sometimes feels more like running away, brought me to Australia. I needed to build an ocean-wide gap between me and my abusive parents. As a child, I felt like an orphan in a white privileged cage.

I feel that Franz Kafka expressed my feelings well when he wrote in a letter to his Father: “Sometimes I imagine the map of the world spread out and you stretched diagonally across it. And I feel as if I could consider living in only those regions that either is not covered by you or are not within your reach.”

When I came to Australia I fell in love with the Australian backyard. The backyard is not only a specific place, a private piece of nature that one can shape in his/her image; it is a concept. The concept of a connection between the home and the semi-controlled nature. Not only did I fall in love with this concept, I feel at home in it. I cannot feel at home in nature when this is the home of other creatures. I need this fence to close on me to feel safe. The Aussi backyard opened my lost dream of a happy childhood that I never had and sometimes the nightmare of remembering it. In my dreams I am a child in the Australian backyard, playing and feeling safe.

The PAL is an Inside outhouse; the space that I create and express myself is an Australian backyard. Building from backyard materials, I created a safe place for me to express myself and share my journey. The outside is the inside of an Australian house or any house; an inside that I never felt like home.

I invite people to my safe place of creation to share the taste of my memories, hear my stories and explore my paintings. I invite people to the only place that I can call home inside myself in the backyard.

PAL is a work in progress that will never be finished as long as I create.

Recent posts by Hagai Erman