Veronique Bergeron is creating essays, podcasts and videos about family and the creative life
15

patrons

$68
per creation
Hello Everyone, I'm Véronique and I am looking for my people. Who are my people? Could you be my people? Answer the following questions to find out!

Your morning routine includes:
(a) Hitting the gym at 5:30 am with a green smoothie 
(b) 30 minutes of silent meditation in your home oratory while the children wait quietly in bed.
(c) Milking 45 cows and patching a jumper
(d) A kid peeing on you.

Your hair and make-up are:
(a) On point
(b) Necessary
(c) Respectable, modest, self-controlled #1Timothy2
(d) Something the cat dragged in.

Your favorite carbohydrate is:
(a) No-carb
(b) Low-carb
(c) Seated at the right hand of the meatballs
(d) Intravenous

Which one of these was tweeted by your children:
(a) -OMG so *thats* what was in my bra!! -...Your boobs?! -my headphones!! -dear lord.
(b) today a girl told me i was pretty enough to drop out of school and become a hooker. nothing can stop me now #motivated
(c) i was locked out of my house for like 5 minutes but its still the most adventure iv had in months
(d) All of the above

Which quote from the musical Hamilton best describes your parenting style:
(a) "Talk less. Smile more."
(b) "Hey turn around, bend over, I'll show you where the shoe fits."
(c) "I will send a fully armed battalion to remind you of my love"
(d) "Outguned, outmanned, outnumbered, outplanned."

When you look at your glass it is:
(a) Full
(b) Half-full
(c) Half-empty
(d) Held on your kid's face by suction.

The world's most pressing First World Problem is:
(a) Vaguebooking
(b) Daylight Saving Time
(c) Instagram husbands
(d) Costco parking lots

If you answered (d) to one or more of these questions you might be my people! Please consider making a pledge to support my work as a writer and podcaster. If enough of you support me, I will quit my job as a mother of 9 and head for Nashville to be hired as The Lumineers' tour bus driver. Otherwise, your contribution will go directly to feed the hamsters that keep my Internet running.




Rewards
Whole-30 coffee.
$1 or more per creation 3 patrons
No sugar, no dairy, no alcohol, no peanut butter and certainly no muffin. This tier tastes like nothing but trust me, it's good for you. 
A good deed is never lost.
$3 or more per creation 3 patrons
For $3, you earn a feeling of ownership. Not real ownership because this thing still costs more in time and hosting fees than it earns. This tier gets you all the warm-and-fuzzies of good-deeding without the angst. 
A good massage should hurt a little.
$5 or more per creation 9 patrons
For a $5 contribution, you earn the opportunity to come and take care of my household for a week. You think I should be paying you for this? I promise that your family will feel like a holiday once you're done with mine. It's like a spa, but in reverse. 
Goals
$68 of $100 per creation
As a famously slow writer and editor, $100 pays me something below minimum hourly wage for every Thing I publish. It's about 1/3 of what a cleaning lady earns and 100X more than what a stay-at-home mom makes. I think it strikes the right balance.
1 of 1
Hello Everyone, I'm Véronique and I am looking for my people. Who are my people? Could you be my people? Answer the following questions to find out!

Your morning routine includes:
(a) Hitting the gym at 5:30 am with a green smoothie 
(b) 30 minutes of silent meditation in your home oratory while the children wait quietly in bed.
(c) Milking 45 cows and patching a jumper
(d) A kid peeing on you.

Your hair and make-up are:
(a) On point
(b) Necessary
(c) Respectable, modest, self-controlled #1Timothy2
(d) Something the cat dragged in.

Your favorite carbohydrate is:
(a) No-carb
(b) Low-carb
(c) Seated at the right hand of the meatballs
(d) Intravenous

Which one of these was tweeted by your children:
(a) -OMG so *thats* what was in my bra!! -...Your boobs?! -my headphones!! -dear lord.
(b) today a girl told me i was pretty enough to drop out of school and become a hooker. nothing can stop me now #motivated
(c) i was locked out of my house for like 5 minutes but its still the most adventure iv had in months
(d) All of the above

Which quote from the musical Hamilton best describes your parenting style:
(a) "Talk less. Smile more."
(b) "Hey turn around, bend over, I'll show you where the shoe fits."
(c) "I will send a fully armed battalion to remind you of my love"
(d) "Outguned, outmanned, outnumbered, outplanned."

When you look at your glass it is:
(a) Full
(b) Half-full
(c) Half-empty
(d) Held on your kid's face by suction.

The world's most pressing First World Problem is:
(a) Vaguebooking
(b) Daylight Saving Time
(c) Instagram husbands
(d) Costco parking lots

If you answered (d) to one or more of these questions you might be my people! Please consider making a pledge to support my work as a writer and podcaster. If enough of you support me, I will quit my job as a mother of 9 and head for Nashville to be hired as The Lumineers' tour bus driver. Otherwise, your contribution will go directly to feed the hamsters that keep my Internet running.




Recent posts by Veronique Bergeron

Rewards
Whole-30 coffee.
$1 or more per creation 3 patrons
No sugar, no dairy, no alcohol, no peanut butter and certainly no muffin. This tier tastes like nothing but trust me, it's good for you. 
A good deed is never lost.
$3 or more per creation 3 patrons
For $3, you earn a feeling of ownership. Not real ownership because this thing still costs more in time and hosting fees than it earns. This tier gets you all the warm-and-fuzzies of good-deeding without the angst. 
A good massage should hurt a little.
$5 or more per creation 9 patrons
For a $5 contribution, you earn the opportunity to come and take care of my household for a week. You think I should be paying you for this? I promise that your family will feel like a holiday once you're done with mine. It's like a spa, but in reverse.