Y. Satori is creating her mémoire @ ysatori.live
4
patrons

Y Satori


https://satori.live/
22; Psychology BSc final year student, Amateur Blogger,
Content Creator & Occasional Glamour & Editorial Model

I write about my journey of ups and downs in the quest to establish, develop and fine-tune healthy coping mechanisms to cope with various psychiatric and physiological ailments – lingering impediments of emotional, psychological, sexual, and narcissistic abuse.
I am doing my best to confront and make peace with these conflicts. I’m doing what I can, but it seems for every step I take, I fall back two. Upon confronting my mother after I finally came to terms with her “true” nature, she proceeded to block me. Not only was I outright abandoned, I was stripped of even the right to forgive. I am doing what I can to make peace with this.

Despite having not gone out for anything apart from visits to various psychiatrists, therapists, "help centres", and the vet - living expenses have become to be another instability - supporting the notion that "mental illness is for the privileged" - that "it's all in your head", that "you wouldn't have time to be depressed if you had to work to keep a roof over your head". All hubris preventing those really in need of support from receiving it, gaslighting and belittling their suffering. Heartwrenching and disgraceful, to say the least... sorry for getting carried away - anyways, I have been learning/trying to produce mild/implied/borderline erotic style photos in hopes of subsidising my journey in the least invasive/destructive manner whilst I do what I can to gather and recalibrate myself whilst searching for "the one" (therapist/psychiatrist/whatever). I do hope to continue to do more editorial/glamour modelling once I overcome the agoraphobia, anxiety and general dysfunction...

// Update, 04/28/2019: I can, will and want to go out now! I'm still timid, but I spent a day socialising and making new friends following a visit to arch. I'm desperately hoping for this "breakthrough" to be genuine and not another false fantasy] As for function, I am still losing considerable chunks of time but the quality & quantity of memories that are returning to me are increasing by the day - and so is the pleasant nature of the content: not only is the past is beginning to resurface, it is doing in the form of pleasant memories & poignant nostalgia. It is no longer simply inexplicable episodes of irrational fear or rage, nor is it the stubborn plague of nightmares and inexplicable terrors. //

I am not selling you a tale of novel adventure, nor am I promising some marvellous feat of great deeds. What I offer is not some woeful tale of despair nor do I wish to paint you an image of pain so vivid it will remain scarred into your mind’s due, forever haunting.
What I am offering is for you to join me as I scramble to gather, rediscover, and reconstruct the dissociated and fragmented bits and pieces that make up the shattered puzzle that is my life as I know it.

WILL YOU ACCOMPANY ME UPON THIS  ENDEAVOUR?

Trigger Warning: Adult content & Possibly “Triggering” Art/Writing

Become a Premium Subscriber or Patron for Private & Unpublished images, clips & work from Glamour & Boudoir (M) photoshoots. Photo sets can also be purchased individually on a per-set basis on Bentbox
Thank you for being so supportive, patient and understanding with me whilst I figure all this out. Your support means more to me than you might think, not only are you keep meat on these bones, and giving me one less crisis, you're also contributing to my son, Liam and giving me hope and encouraging me to believe in what good you see in me.


Apart from my father and Liam, you are all that I have left.
So from the bottom of my heart,
Thank You.
Click Here to browse "premium" images and Here for more about satori.live

Full discretion: I am not creating pornographic material, nor am I implying so. Please be aware of this before you decide to subscribe.


Disclaimer
I aim to be consistent in updating feeds and photo sets,
but I am still struggling with the stability of my mental health and still
have occasional episodes.

Thank you for being so patient & supportive, it touches me so much knowing
that you are there for me. 
Tiers
Support My Journey
$3 or more per month

Every follower, supporter and patron truly touches my heart and soul, Thank You.


It may sound ridiculous but through your support you are contributing to not only my ego but my health and wellbeing.


By giving me incentive to create content, and dimming the stress of finances - You are giving me the strength and volition to actually take care of myself. 


Ever since I began this journey, I have been gradually relearning self-care and perhaps self-love. I have begun to be once again conscious of my appearance and physical state that had been ridiculously unkempt and abandoned ever since my episode .You are forcing me to return to reality and be concerned about things other than the war in my head - something I never would have been able to do myself, the black hole of "self-healing" is an obsessive and hopeless quest, at the end of the day we must accept that we will be somehow incomplete no matter how we try to be whole. Life is the journey to fulfilling this limitless insatiable curiosity and desire that drives us to live.


There is no denying that when you start to care for your appearance, something that seems to be the worse thing one could do, considering the vain and precarious nature of this shallow presentation of insecurity. the simple act of caring inevitably triggers some sort of domino effect. The extraction of the mind's awareness from the overbearing, claustrophobic compulsion to fix itself, a simple shift in attention, though seemingly an easy task, was the key for the prison door. Thank you.


-----


TLDR Thank you for giving me something to pursue apart from the insatiable quest for sanity. Thank you for bringing me back.


-----


Patrons can gain access to gated content on http://satori.live

as lifetime pledge increases, so does the amount of private content.


Photo sets can also purchased per-set on https://bentbox.co/ysatorior http://satori.live

Friend
$15.67 or more per month

- Intimate journal entries, candid photos, & Unseen Editorial & Fashion Photo Albums on satori.live

& content of all previous tiers

Close Friends
$39.44 or more per month


-Glamour & Boudoir Photo Albums , Sexually suggestive or otherwise NSFW Photo Albums on satori.live


& content of all previous tiers

Intimate Friends
$77.77 or more per month

Implied & partial nudes on satori.live

Wickr Me monthly chat

& content of all previous tiers

X
$149.28 or more per month

1 Tailored album with >3 clips (monthly)(XXX)

Wickr Me private content >1 per week

& content of all previous tiers

Y Satori


https://satori.live/
22; Psychology BSc final year student, Amateur Blogger,
Content Creator & Occasional Glamour & Editorial Model

I write about my journey of ups and downs in the quest to establish, develop and fine-tune healthy coping mechanisms to cope with various psychiatric and physiological ailments – lingering impediments of emotional, psychological, sexual, and narcissistic abuse.
I am doing my best to confront and make peace with these conflicts. I’m doing what I can, but it seems for every step I take, I fall back two. Upon confronting my mother after I finally came to terms with her “true” nature, she proceeded to block me. Not only was I outright abandoned, I was stripped of even the right to forgive. I am doing what I can to make peace with this.

Despite having not gone out for anything apart from visits to various psychiatrists, therapists, "help centres", and the vet - living expenses have become to be another instability - supporting the notion that "mental illness is for the privileged" - that "it's all in your head", that "you wouldn't have time to be depressed if you had to work to keep a roof over your head". All hubris preventing those really in need of support from receiving it, gaslighting and belittling their suffering. Heartwrenching and disgraceful, to say the least... sorry for getting carried away - anyways, I have been learning/trying to produce mild/implied/borderline erotic style photos in hopes of subsidising my journey in the least invasive/destructive manner whilst I do what I can to gather and recalibrate myself whilst searching for "the one" (therapist/psychiatrist/whatever). I do hope to continue to do more editorial/glamour modelling once I overcome the agoraphobia, anxiety and general dysfunction...

// Update, 04/28/2019: I can, will and want to go out now! I'm still timid, but I spent a day socialising and making new friends following a visit to arch. I'm desperately hoping for this "breakthrough" to be genuine and not another false fantasy] As for function, I am still losing considerable chunks of time but the quality & quantity of memories that are returning to me are increasing by the day - and so is the pleasant nature of the content: not only is the past is beginning to resurface, it is doing in the form of pleasant memories & poignant nostalgia. It is no longer simply inexplicable episodes of irrational fear or rage, nor is it the stubborn plague of nightmares and inexplicable terrors. //

I am not selling you a tale of novel adventure, nor am I promising some marvellous feat of great deeds. What I offer is not some woeful tale of despair nor do I wish to paint you an image of pain so vivid it will remain scarred into your mind’s due, forever haunting.
What I am offering is for you to join me as I scramble to gather, rediscover, and reconstruct the dissociated and fragmented bits and pieces that make up the shattered puzzle that is my life as I know it.

WILL YOU ACCOMPANY ME UPON THIS  ENDEAVOUR?

Trigger Warning: Adult content & Possibly “Triggering” Art/Writing

Become a Premium Subscriber or Patron for Private & Unpublished images, clips & work from Glamour & Boudoir (M) photoshoots. Photo sets can also be purchased individually on a per-set basis on Bentbox
Thank you for being so supportive, patient and understanding with me whilst I figure all this out. Your support means more to me than you might think, not only are you keep meat on these bones, and giving me one less crisis, you're also contributing to my son, Liam and giving me hope and encouraging me to believe in what good you see in me.


Apart from my father and Liam, you are all that I have left.
So from the bottom of my heart,
Thank You.
Click Here to browse "premium" images and Here for more about satori.live

Full discretion: I am not creating pornographic material, nor am I implying so. Please be aware of this before you decide to subscribe.


Disclaimer
I aim to be consistent in updating feeds and photo sets,
but I am still struggling with the stability of my mental health and still
have occasional episodes.

Thank you for being so patient & supportive, it touches me so much knowing
that you are there for me. 

Recent posts by Y. Satori

Tiers
Support My Journey
$3 or more per month

Every follower, supporter and patron truly touches my heart and soul, Thank You.


It may sound ridiculous but through your support you are contributing to not only my ego but my health and wellbeing.


By giving me incentive to create content, and dimming the stress of finances - You are giving me the strength and volition to actually take care of myself. 


Ever since I began this journey, I have been gradually relearning self-care and perhaps self-love. I have begun to be once again conscious of my appearance and physical state that had been ridiculously unkempt and abandoned ever since my episode .You are forcing me to return to reality and be concerned about things other than the war in my head - something I never would have been able to do myself, the black hole of "self-healing" is an obsessive and hopeless quest, at the end of the day we must accept that we will be somehow incomplete no matter how we try to be whole. Life is the journey to fulfilling this limitless insatiable curiosity and desire that drives us to live.


There is no denying that when you start to care for your appearance, something that seems to be the worse thing one could do, considering the vain and precarious nature of this shallow presentation of insecurity. the simple act of caring inevitably triggers some sort of domino effect. The extraction of the mind's awareness from the overbearing, claustrophobic compulsion to fix itself, a simple shift in attention, though seemingly an easy task, was the key for the prison door. Thank you.


-----


TLDR Thank you for giving me something to pursue apart from the insatiable quest for sanity. Thank you for bringing me back.


-----


Patrons can gain access to gated content on http://satori.live

as lifetime pledge increases, so does the amount of private content.


Photo sets can also purchased per-set on https://bentbox.co/ysatorior http://satori.live

Friend
$15.67 or more per month

- Intimate journal entries, candid photos, & Unseen Editorial & Fashion Photo Albums on satori.live

& content of all previous tiers

Close Friends
$39.44 or more per month


-Glamour & Boudoir Photo Albums , Sexually suggestive or otherwise NSFW Photo Albums on satori.live


& content of all previous tiers

Intimate Friends
$77.77 or more per month

Implied & partial nudes on satori.live

Wickr Me monthly chat

& content of all previous tiers

X
$149.28 or more per month

1 Tailored album with >3 clips (monthly)(XXX)

Wickr Me private content >1 per week

& content of all previous tiers