Zach Valenti is creating a creativity & self care community with videos, podcasts, & more

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Renaissance Unicorn Membership (Pay What You Want!)
$1 or more per month patrons
Are you a Renaissance Unicorn?

"What the hell is that?!" you ask?

In this age of Internet Creating, all of us are our own form of Renaissance Unicorn (a gender-inclusive version of ye' old Renaissance Man, aka a "well-rounded," multidisciplinary person). It is this dynamic, creative, ever-evolving being that I celebrate every dang day and serve with everything I'm doing. And if you're wondering where it comes from, "Renaissance Unicorn" was coined during a #SelfCareSunday livestream:

This Patreon is a "pay what you want" membership model. Instead of having tiers ($5, $25, etc.), everyone here gets everything, save for a few higher tier-levels where you can hire me to consult for you!

If you have the means, I encourage you to consider pledging above $1. It all adds up.


  • Access to Patreon Exclusive Content
  • Monthly Livestreamed Townhalls
  • Early Drafts of Writing & New Essays
  • Behind the Scenes Updates
  • Shout Outs
  • Voting Rights (occasional polls helping me decide what to do next)
  • Sweet Perks
Zach's 28th Birthday Tier!
$28 or more per month patrons
You know what's awesome? You are. That's why I want to customize a limited edition voicemail message for you from professional fake astronaut Zach Valenti.

I have recorded a voicemail message with the following script and will customize it for you or whoever you want me to (I'll submit a survey on May 1st for anyone who joins this level for April):

"Hello there! You've reached [ YOUR NAME HERE ]. They're unavailable. Soooo... I can't tell ya what they're doing, but I promise it is both important and time sensitive and they'll call ya back later (probably). Thanks for calling! Leave a message after the tone. Or don't. It's your life dude."

I may or may not continue this level as an ongoing monthly thing depending on feedback.

30 Minute Monthly Call
$100 or more per month patrons
Workin' on an audio drama and want some ideas? Wanna chat about meditation strategies? Need some ideas for your YouTube Channel? I'll consult with you about pretty much anything every month for 30 minutes on video chat.
60 Minute Monthly Call
$200 or more per month patrons
Launching a podcast? Writing an epic poem? Need help crafting your new business plan? I'll consult with you about pretty much anything every month for 60 minutes on video chat.
3-Hour Voiceover
$650 or more per month patrons
Working on an audio drama and want me to voice a side character or five? Got a TV Pilot in the works and need me to give you a couple lines? Want a world-class answer phone message for you and several friends? This is my typical session fee. Work with me through Patreon at this tier and I'll grant you all the rights for all time for whatever we do.

No hate speech or porn allowed.

The Magic Zach Swag Box Experience
$1,500 or more per month patrons
I will send you a box of handmade, one-of-a-kind stuff, customized for you! Maybe it'll be a digital typewriter. Maybe a radio transmitting cigarette box that says stuff from a certain Communications Officer. Maybe a wardrobe of T Shirts with silly memes like HOW COULD DARE YOU! Who's to say? You. That's who. Unless you want to be surprised. Then it'll be me doing the saying. Satisfaction guaranteed.