Luke McKinney is creating Science Comedy
44

patrons

$196
per month
"Black holes happen when the universe divides by zero and eats anything that tries to notice."
6 Mind Blowing Things About Black Holes

Science is about understanding existence, laughter is about enjoying existence, combining two things is fun, and doing it can create even more existence. That’s four meanings of life before I've even asked for money! (five) 

“We're made of star-stuff, and we made science to relight it.”
4 Ways Plasma Technology Will Change The World

My name is Luke McKinney and I’ve written science comedy for ten years. I make ANTIMATTER COCKTAILS for Cracked.com, and will continue to mix mind-melting energy and entertainment over there because they’re brilliant. But there's SO MUCH MORE science to get excited about! I always want to write more science articles. I keep getting comments from people who want more science articles. The overlap of those sentences is perfect, so let's see if it works!

“Existence is thermodynamics' cocktail shaker. And cocktails lead to organic fun stuff.”
The 5 Smartest Things Humanity Has Done Recently

I have two Masters degrees in laser physics. My wife Dr X has a PhD in molecular genetics. We're going to have a Terminator instead of a baby and you’re welcome to get on our good side. My degrees make me Master-Master, doubling up on brains because brawn is obsolete, or MSc-squared. Either way I'm obviously fated for full-on science silliness. I was going for a PhD but worked out that writing was a lot more fun.

“Stars are science we used to pray to.”
5 Awesome Stars You Won’t Believe Science Class Left Out

Patreon would let me concentrate on pure science fun without worrying about advertisers, trending topics, or anything else which would get in the way. Just you, me, and the whole point of having brains in the first place.

"When you've turned the sun into a strobe light, things have gone very badly."
5 Astronauts More Badass Than Any Action Movie Hero

Articles will include: 
SCIENCE ARTICLES
Themed comedy articles on all kinds of amazingly intelligent achievements.
Free example: Incredible DNA Technology!

SCIENCE JAEGERS!
DIAMOND ANVIL! MASS DAMPER! OSIRIS REX!
Science is stuffed with two word phrases which conjure the most amazing machines you could imagine in fiction, and describe even more amazing things in reality. SCIENCE JAEGERs will describe both, and be compiled into e-books free for supporters.
This is the sort of thing direct reader-funding would allow. Because pitching ideas like this is how you get an editor’s face to wince so hard their cheek muscles turn into diamond fibres.
Free example: OSIRIS REX!

SCIENTIFIC WONDERS OF THE WORLD
If everyone understood for a single second what our species was truly capable of we’d solve the world. Then improve it. Then find another. I’m sick of ancients getting credit for killing countless thousands to build big monuments to rich slave-owners. We build better things ever day. This is a series I’ve been brewing for years, and now I’d like to sell it straight to the readers. When complete it’ll be compiled in an e-book free for all supporters.

BONUS MATERIAL!
I have to cut some of my most spectacularly nerdy jokes when writing on larger sites. NOT ANY MORE! Behold the science silliness too glorious for the mass market!

NEUTRINO SHOWER!
Hundreds of billions of neutrinos fired through you while reading this sentence. I won't write that many extra small sciencey-coolnesses, but I will post plenty of cool science fragments and thoughts in an exclusive stream.

EXTRA POSTS!
I have some ideas stuffed with science and silliness. The internet is full of (and made of) both. IT'S THE PERFECT PLAN.

"In 1989, CERN invented the World Wide Web to transmit important information between smart people, and the world has been using it for the exact opposite ever since." 
7 Ridiculous Things People Believe About the Higgs Boson

ZERO POINT COMEDY, because even at its lowest point reality has enough energy for things we don't yet know.
ZERO POINT COMEDY, because it's about understanding, not incantation, and Zero Point Energy is the most misused magic/science word of people still trying to sell perpetual motion machines.
ZERO POINT COMEDY, a response to everyone who asks “What’s the point in science?”

EVERYTHING is the point of science. Achieving even more is the effect of science. I’d like to share both with you.

“We're learning more about existence by continuing where it left off.”

6 Human-made Materials You Won’t Believe Exist

(try some FREE PROMOTIONAL PIECES! Note: the paid posts are much smarter)





Tiers
Pledge $1 or more per month
21 patrons
UNITY
The second-most amazing number in existence, but a $0 reward really doesn't work, and an $i reward would make taxes even more complicated.
Access to all Articles, SCIENCE JAEGERS, and Scientific Wonders of the World.
Pledge $3.14 or more per month
10 patrons
Pi
The numerical signature of multi-dimensional space AND it suggests something you can eat. Nothing could be better tuned to the human brain.
Everything above plus BONUS MATERIAL cut from past, present, and future pieces. 
Pledge $6.28 or more per month
15 patrons
Tau
We can't mention pi without tau, which does wonderful things like "truly represent the circle" and "motivate the most magnificently mathematical arguments in abstract existence".
When we have enough abstract mathematicians to argue over who has to take the factor of two you know we've created a whole new world. That's like halfway to becoming pure energy beings, and just as disconnected from crude reality.
All above rewards plus NEUTRINO SHOWER, more frequent smaller posts about things I find when researching, reading, writing, and imagining all this lovely science stuff.
Pledge $10 or more per month
7 patrons
Base-10
Truly the base that belongs to us, a number that's only special because we say so. Which of course makes it the most important of all.
All the above, plus each month you can send a suggestion of something you want to see written about and one will be chosen. Past entries will stay in the pile for a chance in future months!
Goals
$196 of $200 per month
SCIENCE JAEGERS ARE ONLINE
SCIENCE JAEGERS will march out every month, and be compiled into e-books free for supporters.
1 ARTICLE per month
1 SCIENCE JAEGER per month
4 of 8
"Black holes happen when the universe divides by zero and eats anything that tries to notice."
6 Mind Blowing Things About Black Holes

Science is about understanding existence, laughter is about enjoying existence, combining two things is fun, and doing it can create even more existence. That’s four meanings of life before I've even asked for money! (five) 

“We're made of star-stuff, and we made science to relight it.”
4 Ways Plasma Technology Will Change The World

My name is Luke McKinney and I’ve written science comedy for ten years. I make ANTIMATTER COCKTAILS for Cracked.com, and will continue to mix mind-melting energy and entertainment over there because they’re brilliant. But there's SO MUCH MORE science to get excited about! I always want to write more science articles. I keep getting comments from people who want more science articles. The overlap of those sentences is perfect, so let's see if it works!

“Existence is thermodynamics' cocktail shaker. And cocktails lead to organic fun stuff.”
The 5 Smartest Things Humanity Has Done Recently

I have two Masters degrees in laser physics. My wife Dr X has a PhD in molecular genetics. We're going to have a Terminator instead of a baby and you’re welcome to get on our good side. My degrees make me Master-Master, doubling up on brains because brawn is obsolete, or MSc-squared. Either way I'm obviously fated for full-on science silliness. I was going for a PhD but worked out that writing was a lot more fun.

“Stars are science we used to pray to.”
5 Awesome Stars You Won’t Believe Science Class Left Out

Patreon would let me concentrate on pure science fun without worrying about advertisers, trending topics, or anything else which would get in the way. Just you, me, and the whole point of having brains in the first place.

"When you've turned the sun into a strobe light, things have gone very badly."
5 Astronauts More Badass Than Any Action Movie Hero

Articles will include: 
SCIENCE ARTICLES
Themed comedy articles on all kinds of amazingly intelligent achievements.
Free example: Incredible DNA Technology!

SCIENCE JAEGERS!
DIAMOND ANVIL! MASS DAMPER! OSIRIS REX!
Science is stuffed with two word phrases which conjure the most amazing machines you could imagine in fiction, and describe even more amazing things in reality. SCIENCE JAEGERs will describe both, and be compiled into e-books free for supporters.
This is the sort of thing direct reader-funding would allow. Because pitching ideas like this is how you get an editor’s face to wince so hard their cheek muscles turn into diamond fibres.
Free example: OSIRIS REX!

SCIENTIFIC WONDERS OF THE WORLD
If everyone understood for a single second what our species was truly capable of we’d solve the world. Then improve it. Then find another. I’m sick of ancients getting credit for killing countless thousands to build big monuments to rich slave-owners. We build better things ever day. This is a series I’ve been brewing for years, and now I’d like to sell it straight to the readers. When complete it’ll be compiled in an e-book free for all supporters.

BONUS MATERIAL!
I have to cut some of my most spectacularly nerdy jokes when writing on larger sites. NOT ANY MORE! Behold the science silliness too glorious for the mass market!

NEUTRINO SHOWER!
Hundreds of billions of neutrinos fired through you while reading this sentence. I won't write that many extra small sciencey-coolnesses, but I will post plenty of cool science fragments and thoughts in an exclusive stream.

EXTRA POSTS!
I have some ideas stuffed with science and silliness. The internet is full of (and made of) both. IT'S THE PERFECT PLAN.

"In 1989, CERN invented the World Wide Web to transmit important information between smart people, and the world has been using it for the exact opposite ever since." 
7 Ridiculous Things People Believe About the Higgs Boson

ZERO POINT COMEDY, because even at its lowest point reality has enough energy for things we don't yet know.
ZERO POINT COMEDY, because it's about understanding, not incantation, and Zero Point Energy is the most misused magic/science word of people still trying to sell perpetual motion machines.
ZERO POINT COMEDY, a response to everyone who asks “What’s the point in science?”

EVERYTHING is the point of science. Achieving even more is the effect of science. I’d like to share both with you.

“We're learning more about existence by continuing where it left off.”

6 Human-made Materials You Won’t Believe Exist

(try some FREE PROMOTIONAL PIECES! Note: the paid posts are much smarter)





Recent posts by Luke McKinney

Tiers
Pledge $1 or more per month
21 patrons
UNITY
The second-most amazing number in existence, but a $0 reward really doesn't work, and an $i reward would make taxes even more complicated.
Access to all Articles, SCIENCE JAEGERS, and Scientific Wonders of the World.
Pledge $3.14 or more per month
10 patrons
Pi
The numerical signature of multi-dimensional space AND it suggests something you can eat. Nothing could be better tuned to the human brain.
Everything above plus BONUS MATERIAL cut from past, present, and future pieces. 
Pledge $6.28 or more per month
15 patrons
Tau
We can't mention pi without tau, which does wonderful things like "truly represent the circle" and "motivate the most magnificently mathematical arguments in abstract existence".
When we have enough abstract mathematicians to argue over who has to take the factor of two you know we've created a whole new world. That's like halfway to becoming pure energy beings, and just as disconnected from crude reality.
All above rewards plus NEUTRINO SHOWER, more frequent smaller posts about things I find when researching, reading, writing, and imagining all this lovely science stuff.
Pledge $10 or more per month
7 patrons
Base-10
Truly the base that belongs to us, a number that's only special because we say so. Which of course makes it the most important of all.
All the above, plus each month you can send a suggestion of something you want to see written about and one will be chosen. Past entries will stay in the pile for a chance in future months!