Regular Featuresis creating a podcast
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Become a Bee
You are a bee now, welcome to the hive. As a freshman bee with their entire life ahead of them, you are entitled to the following exclusive benefits.
- A bee name. We will bestow upon you, live on air, your very own bee name. You will even receive an animated birth certificate, which you can show to a judge if you're ever accused of a crime.
- Access to The Beehive. You are exclusively invited to hang out in our subscribers-only Discord channel, where we'll be chattin', moochin' around, sharing features, various behind-the-scenes bits, and maybe even a few jingles.
- Priority access to live shows. As a loyal bee, you'll get first dibs on any tickets to our live shows before they go on general sale.
Includes Discord benefits
About Regular Features
HELLO READERSGuess what? We are five men who do a weekly podcast called Regular Features, and we would like your support so that only GOD or the POLICE can ever stop us.
Our names are Jon Blyth, Gav Murphy, Steve Hogarty, Joe Skrebels and Matt Lees, and with the help of our readers we've been doing our podcast for over ten billion years. Why? Because we can't be certain we won't instantly drop dead if we don't. But also because we love it, we love you and, worst of all, we love one another.
Real talk though. Did you know that making a podcast costs money? We didn't, until late 2017 when the guy who owns Soundcloud crept in through an open window one night and smashed up Log's legs. It all adds up: the hosting charges, the leg braces, the equipment costs, the prosthetic shins, the time it takes to write and edit features, the endless consultations with leading femur specialists.
That's why we're asking you to support us in creating more episodes of Regular Features. If you think that what we do is worth paying for, then this is your opportunity to make your dream of funding us a thrilling reality. New episodes are released once per week, and you can pay as much or as little as you like per show.
Hey, get this: we're suggesting a pledge of £2 per episode. For that, you will receive BEE NAME 2.0. We will award you not only your personalised bee name shout out on the show, to the same peerless quality as we have always offered, but you will also receive a certification video in which your human name is symbolically destroyed and replaced with your given apian eponym.
You will also gain access to THE BEEHIVE, our subscriber-only Discord server, where all serving members of Regular Features are contractually obligated to spend time talking to one another and pretending they’re friends. The Beehive will also see us sharing scripts, revealing abandoned features, maybe even testing out new jingles. It’ll be great. And it’ll be even greater if you’re there, stinking up the place real nice.
On top of all this, our £2 readers will also get priority access to live show tickets. We miss sweating on a stage in front of you a lot, and we’ll be booking new shows as soon as it doesn’t feel like we might inadvertently kill a portion of our audience and their families by doing one. By giving us what the Bank of England likes to call "a lil summin-summin", you can be among the first to see us in a new, less virulent world.
Okay, that's it. That’s the pitch. You don't even have to pledge, you'll still get Regular Features either way, but please help us if you can. Over time our sense of self-worth has become tied to the success of this podcast, and we’re not sure how we’d cope if we couldn’t get around a microphone and talk about wind turbines and big boys once a week.
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